𝐼𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑚 • 𝐵𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑊𝑖𝑛 (𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱)

𝖨𝗇𝗌𝖺𝗇𝗂𝗍𝗒, 𝖥𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗍

Bright groans from the sun shining upon his face, stirring up his sleep and his back hurt from the cold hard floor. The older man nestles closer to whatever he is leaning and finds it a little hard compared to his usual memory foam pillows. Slowly, he flutters his eyes open, and soon, he's staring straight into his lover's beautiful face. Confused, he tries to move away from the man only for Win to groan and tighten his grip around his waist.

"You're not going anywhere," Win says despite the fact that he's still a little bit sleepy, but at the same time, doesn't want to be away from Bright.

Bright purses his lips tight and leans back to Win, rubbing the pad of his thumb against the young man's clothes. He is lost - he has bits and pieces of the things that occurred from the night before but he's not expecting Win to stay with him, and sleep beside him on the floor. Bright snuggles closer and inhales the faint smell of Win's perfume and Win, on the other hand, imprints a kiss on top of the older man's head.

Silence is amidst them and yet, both had been wide awake since earlier - nonetheless, no one can find their voice to go deeper about last night. Win shuts his eyes tight and sighs making the older man flinch from the sudden gush of air on his hair. And soon, he finds himself being embraced a tad tighter by Win matched with gentle sobs from the young man. Bright looks up and fixates his gaze on his lover while rubbing his palm now on Win's cheeks - gently and full of doting.

"I'm sorry," Bright says making Win shake his head. "I tried. Really tried to keep my sanity intact but I was weak, scared, and disappointed all in all. I didn't know what to do or what to react, I feel like my life turned upside down right away when I saw you with him, laughing and giggling. You looked like you were having fun and my heart crushed. I wanted to run to you and take you away from him..." Bright pauses and sobs himself.

"But I was scared because I feel like I am the only one that is trying to make this relationship work. I was thinking that maybe, you were just forced to accept me because of my persistence - and that made me back away. The two of you look like you were in your own world, and I wasn't part of it at all. That I was only made to believe that I was loved by you, but when I have pined on you dearly - you crushed me. I'm sorry if I am not good enough for you, I tried...I really tried to treat you well..am I not enough?"

Win's cry becomes louder and his shoulders are shaking tremendously hearing those words from the person that he says he loves - but is not feeling loved at all. He thinks that he did his part of showing that he pines on him, as well, but surely he is the one lacking. Win realizes now that all this time, it had always been him that receives so much warmth and love from the older man - and he hasn't given him the same amount of love and attention.

Bright leaves Win laying on the floor while he sits with his knees clutched against his chest and both hands on top of his kneecap. Win follows right after and sits criss-cross applesauce in front of Bright who's just staring at him intently, waiting for him to say something - anything. Bright is perceiving a lot of notions inside his head - and he doesn't want it, but he believes that the only way for his lover to be happy is for him to stay away. And let him choose the man that he truly adores, which he firmly believes as not him.

"I'm sorry," Win starts after sniffing the last amount of tears and snots back, his hands land on either side of Bright's face whose eyes seem to have dulled.

"I'm sorry if you didn't feel that I loved you, it was always you who expresses your doting and adoration for me and I never once told you how much you mean to me - how much your life means to me more than you could ever know. Bright, I love you, I really do love you - and I had loved you for a long time. I had always wanted to feel your warmth even if everyone thinks that you're distant and cold - for me, you were someone that brings the sunshine into my life."

"..."

"That day, when you saw us talking, Luke invited me to his wedding. Maybe, we laughed about something that was really unimportant but that doesn't mean that I still want him. He knows that I have been stealing glances at you every time we're in the same room, the way my eyes glisten upon gazing on you, how it lingers, and follows you wherever you are, the way my cheeks get tainted with pink just seeing your smile. He knows very well that I dote on you so much even if we were still in a relationship before. Why does he know? Because I never once hid it from him, may it be consciously or unconsciously - my eyes and my heart had always been yours."

Bright lower his gaze, afraid that if he continued to stare at the man - he won't be able to let him go.

"I want you to stay with me. No, I want me to stay with you and to care for you. Please, give me another chance to show you how much I love and adore you, Bright. I know that I've never done my own part in our relationship well, and I regret it, my love. I'm sorry if I made you feel alone, scared, and neglected - I am ashamed to even tell you now that I love you after the pain that I had caused and brought unto you. Please, don't let me go just yet. Please...I love you. I love you so much that I don't want to imagine a day without your smile, your care, your love, your warmth, and everything about you in my life."

"But...I'm tired now," Bright responds while staring on his toes and Win's sobs become more evident, painfully hurting to hear and he's regretting all of the times that Bright had shone him his love and affection.

"Please, give me one more chance."

"I'm scared that this will happen again and that I would not be able to handle it anymore. I wanted to die last night so that I don't have to see you again being happy with someone else. This time, I'm just tired that I don't want to be with you in the same room or be near to you like this - I'm tired and I want to rest now. Can't you just let me go?"

Win shakes his head vigorously and envelops the older man with a hug as he cried his heart out on the male's shoulder, Bright however feels distant. Unknowingly throwing whatever feelings he has for the man out of his system - he's broken once more. And this time, he believes that there's no amount of fixing could be done, that he's too far gone and unreachable. The young man can feel the distance and the wall that Bright had built in-between them, but he didn't want to let it stay that way.

"I love you," Win whispers, and Bright flinches before pressing his forehead on the other male's shoulder. "I love you so much. I won't let you go no matter what you say - I won't. Give me one more chance, if I fuck up again - I will let you go, I promise. But right now, I don't want us to let go yet. Please..."

"Ah...I'm scared."

"I'm scared, too. But I want to stay with you and aid you in whatever form or way because I love you so much. Please?"

Win pulls away and Bright just stares at him with tears running down his face, he doesn't even realize that he's crying not until Win brushed away the tears with the palm of his hand.

"Okay," Bright mumbles. "One more."

"Yes, one more. One more chance."

"One more chance," Bright repeats the word and he feels something coursing inside of him, it is warm and it's giving him joy despite the broken trust and broken heart. "One more. One more. If it works, we'll be better. Yeah, better," he chants like he's talking to himself.

"If it fails, let me go and let me rest. I don't want to be broken anymore - it takes out all the energy in me. It makes me want to just disappear completely. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm scared. Truly scared. I want to disappear but my heart feels warm now. What have you done? We are supposed to stop, to end, to just be apart - you're not happy with me. What have you done to my heart? It's thumping loud, and I can't breathe."

Win shifts closer and imprints a kiss on the older man's lips, taking his time with just pressing it softly against his. Bright shuts his eyes and savors the taste of honey from the other male's lips - soon he finds himself wanting to stay. Win pulls away and stares at Bright, the dullness of his eyes had long been gone and it looks more like the eyes that exude wanting and happiness - the same ones that he stared at last night.

"I love you, Bright."

"I love you too, Win. So much...that it hurts."