𝐼𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑚 • 𝐵𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑊𝑖𝑛 (𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱)

𝖨𝗇𝗌𝖺𝗇𝗂𝗍𝗒, 𝖯𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝖮𝗇𝖾

Darkness and silence envelop the room with the only light illuminating from the phone that Bright is holding. He's been crowding the very corner of his room, clutching his knees against his chest, chin on top of it and being under his duvet.

Photos after photos flashed before his eyes and the more that he digs and reads deeper - the more that he feels lost, distant, pained and neglected. Bright is slowly succumbing to his darkness and now, nothing and no one anchored him to the light.

Three days ago, Bright planned to surprise Win at work because his own engagements ended early. He brought him a cup of hot latte from the usual café that they go to. The amount of excitement and merriment inside of him was radiating to much - only for it to dull and disappear in an instant. Win is talking with Luke, it was just a casual conversation but from where he was standing - the young man's expression struck a bullet against his heart. Win was happy and laughing, something that he thought was only his - and yet, it wasn't. They were too occupied by with their talk like they were inside their own bubble - and slowly, the older man's insecurities resurfaced and he felt defeated.

He didn't even notice that he had been gripping on the cup tightly and that it spilled on his hand. The hot liquid didn't even made him flinch as his trail of sight was fixated on them. He wanted to walk over to them and stop them from talking - but his feet stayed rooted on the floor making him rock solid. And when he saw Luke casually placed his hand on Win's arm - his switch just flipped. And everything around him felt distant until Win was out of his sight.

Unconsciously, he started to distance himself from the man because his emotions are in disarray. Bright chose to stay at his own condo and asked Win to stay at his own. He needed time - or so he thought but in reality, he is letting his insecurities eat him up. The young man had loved Luke, and maybe - he still did love him and Bright is just delusional that it was him that Win chose.

Right now, his heart is in great confusion because he doesn't know if everything that happened between him and Win for many weeks really happened. Maybe, it didn't really occur and it is only him that believed it did. He stares into nothing but darkness while trying to figure out his own emotions - but nothing. For the moment, he is just hopeless and weak.

Bright clutches on the end of the duvet and he feels like the room is getting smaller and smaller - trapping him in that little corner. He lays on the cold floor and curls into a ball, eyes shut close and uneven breathing. And he feels shadows lurking around him comes into view with their peering eyes. And the very ground that he's at is starting to swallow him whole - and he lays there waiting to drown.

Win's image flashes in his consciousness and Bright snaps out of the illusion. But the room starts to swirl and swivel around and his head pulsates in pain trying to follow the movements. With the last amount of sanity that he has, he stands up to make his way to the bathroom - pills! He needs pills but there is none, Win had thrown everything out since they started dating. He searches all over his room for even a single one but there is really nothing that Win left for him. Bright starts to nip on his fingernails while pacing around the room back and forth, but his anxiety is growing stronger.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh," he screams with all his might as he throws anything that his hand holds - papers, pillows, lampshades, TV - everything is broken and he slumps on the floor.

"Phone! Phone! Phone!" He chants as he fumbles on the ground in fours, trying to search for his phone amidst the great disaster he made.

Luckily, it chimes and lights up for a notification - a message from Win saying that he's out with some co-workers for a drink or two.

"Ah, co-workers?" He scoffs and throws the phone hard against the wall, cracking the device in the process. "Fuck you!!" He thrashes around his room all the while cursing, screaming, kicking, and just anything to release his anger, rage, pain and hurt.

Bright thinks that his emotions were played well by the younger man, and now that he had gained his trust - he breaks it into a million pieces. Win knows everything about him and how his mind works - and yet, it seems like he didn't really care at all. Especially not when he was chummy with the guy and perhaps laughing about some inside jokes that only the two of them knows about. Just the thought of it sent Bright into a spiral out of control once more.

He then goes out and into the kitchen, opening drawers after drawers - looking for something that his mind had been supplying with. He halts on the last drawer that he managed to open and the light bounces against the silver knife. Bright takes it out and brings it with him inside the room all the way to that corner. He then lays it on the ground at arm's reach and stares at it intently, formulating a lot of ideas inside his brain. But all of those ended the same - his rest.

Feeling the emptiness inside his heart, his hand hovers on the handle of the knife - just when his phone rings. Bright takes a glance of the phone and it is screening Win's contact in bold letters MY BELOVED, he looks at the knife once more. Bright groans and shakes his head, he then grabs the phone instead and swipes it to that green answer button.

"Hello?"

["Phi, I messaged you earlier but you didn't text back. Are you okay?"]

Bright clamps his hand over his mouth and silently sobs with his phone against his ears. Win's voice always makes him feel at peace, but this time, it makes him feel vulnerable, powerless and exhausted.

["Bright?"]

"Win...help me."