Sincerely, Harry || Homicidal Prequel

Entry 10

Dear diary,

Alyssa's parents are coming to get her tomorrow. I've never experienced romatic heartbreak before, but I'm pretty sure this is what it feels like. She told me an hour ago and I've been in my room since, crying non-stop. My heart is just aching. I don't want her to go.

I'm not naive, I know it was never real love, but she was my only friend here and it hurts to see her go. She sweet-talked her way out of the asylum in a matter of three weeks on the new meds and now I'm going to be alone again. There's no one else worth talking to here.

Anyway, the conversation went like this (if these intros are lame, I apologize, but I've always thought I could write whatever in here without being judged):

We were laying together in the courtyard, our limbs all tangled up, and she said: “They're letting me out of this hell hole tomorrow.”

“What?” I'm pretty sure my eyes were bulging out of my head when I said it. Or when I gasped it, because I was quite surprised.

“Yeah, I'm leaving. My parents are coming to get me in the morning,” she said.

“How early?” I asked.

“Like, eleven AM?” She shrugged. “Something like that, I don't really know.”

I held her tighter, then, hiding my face in her hair.

“I thought we were supposed to be getting released at the same time,” I said, my tone more accusing than I intended.

She sighed, then tilted her head back and cupped my cheek, softly running her thumb over my skin. God, it felt so good, you don't even know. I'm going to miss her touches, how gentle they are.

“I know, baby,” she replied. I bit my lip and sniffled, and she wiped a tear away with her thumb. She said: “The medication is doing its job. The doctors cleared me; they said being here ins't helping me anymore and that I'll be discharged in the morning.”

“I'll miss you,” I said.

“I know. I'll miss you, too, Harry,” she responded. “I'll come visit you. We'll keep in touch.”

I shook my head. “We both know that we won't.”

She sighed. “I know.”

“Listen, Aly, we should break up. Like, now. Because you and I both know that we aren't going to work when you get out of here,” I said.

She nodded and said: “You're right, but I don't want to let you go.”

“I don't want you to leave,” I told her. “Please don't go, Aly. I love you.”

She smiled sadly. “I love you, too. I don't want to leave, but I couldn't even function three months ago without having a panic attack, and look at me now. I've been here way longer than you, Harry. I've seen the crazy side of this place. I can't be here anymore.”

I sniffled, then nuzzled her hairline with my nose and said: “Come visit me at least twice. That's all I ask.”

“I will, I promise,” she responded. “I'll write you, too, okay? I won't say for how long because I know we agreed not to make false promises, but at least once, I will.”

I stroked my thumb against her side and said: “Don't let me down, Aly.”

She tilted her head up to kiss my cheek and said: “I won't.”

I didn't have anything else to say at that point, and neither did she, so we just laid together in silence until Mrs. Emmerson came to get me for my therapy appointment. I tried to talk to my therapist about it, but she said that no one is supposed to stay here forever, and I decided to drop it because I knew it wasn't going anywhere.

Alyssa's leaving in thirteen hours.

Sincerely,

Harry.