Hannah was my everything and now I was with her! This made me so happy but yet I wanted to cry. She was here with me but I...I just wanted to be alive and see my dad and my mom. I started crying in her arms and she started crying. I made her cry...god I'm such a screw up! I wanted to be with Hannah and I got what I wanted but now that my dad was here I wanted to see him. I pulled away from Hannah and ran into my room. I looked at Hannah and I's hands. We had the tightest grip. Than a doctor came in and said, "Hey, I know you can hear me baby. I want you to come back alive...you mean a lot to sole people! I really need...I need you gore okay! You dont know me. But I know you. Im your moms best friend. I love you Hanna! Come back!!" Now she was screaming at the top of her lungs. She was crying and crying. She wanted me to come back but I didn't want to anymore. I wasn't going to come back! I wouldn't want all the attention. I didn't want to be asked questions...I realized that I was happy now. I had the love of my life with me and that's all that mattered. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and Hannah came behind me and hugged me. She just wanted me to be happy but...it was hard! I just hate myself! Im such a f*ck up!!!! Why don't I kill myself again. I'd be happy. Ill keep killing myself till I cant wake up! My mind was going crazy and so was I...I got what I wanted but now I hate myself and am starting to hate myself even more. Like ugh! F*ck my life! I asked Hannah if we could leave the hospital and she said yes. So, we walked out the door and went for a walk
