EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW

TAEHYUNG'S WORRIES

V'S POV:

"Time heals everything". I have heard this phrase a thousands time but never understood the meaning of it. My grandma always used to say that with time every pain heals. I never understood how could you heal from pain and what time has to do with it. But now when I look at it, she was right. Time does heal everything. You can't always have everything. Sometimes you don't get what you want or the way you want. The same case is mine. No matter how much I love Jin Hyung, never be together. Because he can't commit or maybe he is afraid. So I will have him the way I can have. If not as lover then as a friend. Love is always two way not one way. No matter how much I try, if he won't put his effort then nothing can happen.

He already have given up. I know he did especially now after our fight. I can't believe this really happened. We never fought not like this not in front of camera. It makes me sick to even think about it. I can't forget his pained eyes by my remarks. I overdid. I should have talked to him about choreography privately. But would it have changed anything. Our arguments and fights always end like this. This is the 2nd time we fought and end up only hurting each other.

But I only talked to him in open because I knew he would understand me. He always does. He knows what I mean. He knows what I want to say. When others can't understand, he is the one. But then what happened this time? Why he didn't understood that I was giving only suggestion? Yeah Because my tone was hurting. Because I spoke rudely to him. I let my grudge of breaking my heart overtook my senses and I got angry but his humor also didn't helped. I have gone really sensitive after grandma's death.

How could I lose my calm so easily and especially on him. I never did that before. We resolved our issue but it still took weeks to go the way we were like before, like hyung and dongsaeng. Yeah that's what I am to him and will remain. Because his eyes don't have the same love like before. He moved on. Maybe I should too but how. How should I say this to my heart to move on? Was it that easy for him to move on? Forget what we had? Forget the way we made love to each other, Forget the way we became each other's world. How could you forget you easily? Am I the only one who doesn't sleep at night thinking about us? Am I the only one who hopes that we will be together? Am I the only thinking?

Well leaving my breaking.........Sorry...... broken heart to one side. I should be worried about something else not my foolish heart which is gonna stay broken for years. Right now the one thing that is disturbing me is my baby Kookie. I don't know what's wrong with him these days well technically for past months. He is behaving strange like really strange. He is always lost in his thoughts, day dreaming. Sometimes he turns red without any reason. His focus is on something else, probably someone else.

Well another strange thing that happened this year is his change of behavior. Kookie gave Jiminie a birthday present. Nice, right......No it's not nice. Because the whole damn world knows that Jeon Jungkook never gives anyone any gift.....Anyone means anyone no matter who you are. And he gave Chim a gift and on above of that he called him hyung. What is wrong with him? Well I am happy that he is calling Chim hyung but why gift? He never gave me a gift (pout). Not just any gift. He took him to a holiday for damn 7 days and made a G.C.F. Now that's new.

When did Chim turned his favourite hyung? I am very jealous but it's Chim. You can't get jealous of my angel, Never.

I tried asking him but he hasn't said anything. He always says that he is okay....bullshit. But I don't won't to force him. He'll tell me when he wants to.

I probably should sleep. It's getting late. It's not that late. The clock had only striked 10 but I'm sleepy after so much practice.