Two Owls

Letter

Dear Akaashi~ 

Let me start by saying that I'm just going to put it all down, in as chronological order as possible. This is my like tenth draft and probably won't be the one I settle on. I want to start and end by saying that I love you, god, writing it down feels more intimate than saying it to you will. I hope I can say it to you soon, but it you read this and decide you can't be with me then I wanted you to know. I love you, your blue-green eyes will forever be the only thing I see when I close mine and I wouldn't take back anything that we did. All the things you made me feel were 100% real and sometimes it felt like I was a whole different person with you and only you. Anyway, let me stop crying all over these pages and get down to the whole reason I've been sitting here for a week for. Put down the red editing pen please, I know you're going to cringe at everything literature-y wrong with this but just focus. Ok. I love you again. 

Ok so you know how Mika and I met and all that (not so) fun stuff. I think it was around the second week with her she decided to go to Rome, all of us. That's where we met Damien, I could tell that she was into him and it kind of bothered me but he was also with a group of people, Roman, Victoria, and Fran. Roman was very similar to Damien in looks, Victoria and Fran were both insanely attractive. So everytime Mika got close to Damien, I would just get closer with those three. 

Well things got intense quickly, Walker and his friend from college had brought some pretty hard drugs and of course everyone else was down, or at least pretending (me, I was hardcore pretending) to be into it. So it came down to my turn to take the drugs and I didn't want to, so I pretended and pushed mine over to the next line, hoping that Fran (she was next to me) wouldn't notice. She didn't either, she just took it all and as the night went on it was clear that she was more affected than the rest of them, me being the only sober one though I couldn't say anything and give myself away, I wanted to be cool. 

Fran ended up going to bed early, I walked her to her room. Victoria and Fran were sharing a room, Damien and Roman were in the next one, then Walker, his friend, me and Mika were in the end room. So I walk her to her room and she started like pulling at her clothes like so that she was getting tangled and it looked like she was going to end up strangling herself while she slept. So I helped her out of them and put her in the hotel robe. She fell asleep instantly once she hit the bed. I stayed in the room for a couple minutes, hoping they wouldn't come looking for me. It was quite in there and I wasn't coked up like the rest of them so I was getting tired and bored of being around idiots. 

When I got back to the room they had apparently done more, telling me that I had 'catching up to do', since they were all so wacked I was able to just scoop mine into a glass of what I thought was water. No one was paying enough attention to notice cloudy water, especially not since they all had their own cups of alcohol or whatever. Roman ended up yelling shots and downed that water, it was vodka. Again, I was too afraid of not being cool to say anything, so I just took a shot and kept an eye on Roman. Mika and Damien were getting extra cozy so I pulled Victoria into my side, only she just kind of went limp and I realized she was way more out of it than the rest of them. Walker and I were kind of flirty at this point so he came over and got jealous. He pulled her out of my arm and slipped between us. The way he sat he was kind of on her waist and I could hear her saying her stomach hurt over and over. Walker refused to let me up, I even tried to say I wanted another drink but he was getting handsy and didn't care. 

Victoria ended up getting out from under Walker, stumbling across the room, I heard her open a door and thought she went to the bathroom. I kept looking for ways out from Walker, but he was pretty good at being high and I didn't know if anything I did would be a convincing thing to do. I was so nervous and then I saw Mika and Damien slip off from the room and I got angry too. I was at such a heightened state of like everything and all these people were moving in like slow motion. So with only the three of them in the room I was able to push Walker off, claiming I had to piss. I went to the bathroom to check on Victoria and she wasn't there. I couldn't just run out of the room so I waited a while before coming out. Roman, Walker, and his friend had all gotten mostly naked and were starting to touch each other, they told me to go get Fran and Victoria and come back with them.