Percabeth Oneshots

Thank You For The Understanding (TW)

TW!! Mentions of abuse, dissociation, and panic attacks.

I'm so tired. The gods look at me with pity in their eyes, insisting they understand what I'm going through.

They don't.

My friends pat my back, assuring me that I can talk to them, that they know how hard my battles are.

They don't.

It's nothing against them. They try so hard to understand, to make me feel seen but...

I don't know.

I'm walking to the campfire with Jason when he slings his arm over my shoulder. Nothing threatening, and it doesn't hurt, but I flinch hard. "Whoa, sorry," Jason says, quickly removing his arm. I fix my face into a lopsided grin quickly, doing my best to keep my breath even. "Nah, bro, it's fine. I'm just a little jumpy today, is all".

And there it is. The look of pity, the grimace as if it's his fault I'm this way. "Actually, why don't you go ahead without me?" I say, stopping before entering the campfire circle. Jason goes to retort, but then I feel a had on my shoulder. I freeze hand halfway up, about to grab the wrist of the person behind me before they move their hand away. I turn to see my amazing girlfriend, Annabeth Chase. "Hey, S-"She starts before thinking better of it. I love the nickname, don't get me wrong, it's just...today it's a little much. "Hey," She resolves to say, seemingly reading my mind. "Jase, I need to talk with Percy. Is it alright if I steal him for a bit?" She asks Jason, but it's obvious the question is for me. "Yeah, he was just saying he was gonna go to his cabin anyway. See ya later, bro," Jason says, about to give me a bro hug before thinking better of it and just walking away.

"Come on," Annabeth says, offering her hand, which I stare at for a second before she drops it. She's not disappointed, more so worried. It's a test she does whenever I'm like this. How much touch is okay, kind of thing. I still feel bad, though and resolve to just follow her with my head down, walking a few inches away from her. Far enough away that our shoulders don't touch. I just can't right now.

We make it to my cabin soon enough; our silent walk more awkward than peaceful like it usually is. I feel guilty about that.

We enter my cabin, and I immediately go and sit on my bed, pressing my back between the wall and headboard, letting my arms hold my knees close to my chest.

Annabeth takes in my body language and smiles at me in understanding. Understanding. It makes me want to sob, and I do. I trust Annabeth so much.

I can't seem to get myself to stop now. I just keep sobbing and hiccuping, and I feel so small. My breathing is erratic, and I feel like I'm choking on my tongue.

Annabeth doesn't freak out. She doesn't move to touch me even though I can tell she wants to. She just gets a chair and sits across from me, speaking softly and keeping her breath steady and audible.

"It's okay, baby, you're okay. I love you so, so much. You need to look at me, okay? You don't need to make eye contact if you don't want to. Just watch me breathe, okay?" Annabeth says in a soft voice, just loud enough that I can hear her over the blood rushing past my ears, sounding like the wind before a hurricane.

I look at her eyes before quickly watching her shoulders. Up...down...up...down... It was all I needed to understand how to breathe again, though it did take me a couple of tries and a few frustrated sobs.

"It's alright, honey, it's okay. You're doing so good, working so hard for me. There you go, sweetheart, in...and out. Good job, you're doing amazing," Annabeth continued, never stopping in her encouraging and praise, using the nicknames that she knew would make me melt.