Percabeth Oneshots

The Peace Times in Camp Half-Blood

"Why do people always insist on eating fish in front of me?" Percy sighed, resting his forehead on the heels of his palms. He was seated at his table in the dining pavilion, elbows resting on top of the wood surface despite Annabeth's best efforts to get him to stop, saying it was "Impolite."

"Fish oil is really good for your immune system, actually," Annabeth said, making Percy pout. "Fish oil is fucking disgusting," Leo said, grimacing. "Speaking of good for your immune system, Nico, you need to take your vitamin D supplements, you too, Annabeth and Percy," Will cut in. The three of them had been taking supplements ever since they'd gone to Tartarus, on top of Nico's excessive shadow travel.

"What if I just took a bunch at once?" Percy asked. "You can only absorb as many nutrients as you need at a time; you'd pee out the rest," Will said, scrubbing at his face as if he wanted to wash away this conversation.

"Ok, so I just won't pee, then I can have tHE MOST VITAMIN D-" Percy said, mimicking the sounds of screaming fans as if having vitamin D was a competition he had won.

"Then you'd have too much vitamin pee," Leo nudged Percy, "You'd explode."

"What is P on the periodic table?" Annabeth asked. "Fuck if I know. If you don't know, no one does," Leo said.

Annabeth raced off and came back a few minutes later, holding a long tube.

"The fuck is- ooh" Leo nodded sagely as if all the answers of the universe had come to him at the moment Annabeth unfurled the poster she was holding. "The Periodic Table."

"There!" Annabeth exclaimed. "Phosphorus, number 15 on the periodic table" she pointed to it. "Up two spots since last week, oh and here we have Hydrogen, keeping its spot in first place as it has for the past two millennia," Leo said in an announcer's voice.

"Shut up, Valdez," Annabeth sighed. "I swear, they've added more elements since I learnt the periodic table," Nico sighed. "When you learnt the periodic table, the only elements were earth, fire, water and air," Leo quipped. Will chuckled when Nico glared.

They continued eating, talking about whatever and changing topics enough to give anyone without ADHD whiplash.

These were the peacetimes in Camp Half-Blood, and they loved them.