Back for Christmas

She's gone

𝑀𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑛𝑧𝑖𝑒'𝑠 𝑝𝑜𝑣

This is the first time I didn't cry about it....maybe I get over what happened to me probably not......
everyone was shocked and Lauren look like she was just about to kill someone did I really just say that to save Johnny's ass?!?!I don't even know why I just did that....
but OK moving on from that part of my life
I look at Natalie she got up and ran out and ran upstairs to her daughter"bye-bye see you never!!"I walked to the door "go talk to your parents you're lucky they were there for you"I said as I close the door
I may hate her guts but I know the feeling of not having there parents there for you....
I saw Johnny"wow I didn't expect you to do that"he says"sorry I didn't tell you everything can you take as I made it up but I did it"I shrug as we walk in to the other room they all looked at me confused as hell"what I didn't like her OK I hate her but that's besides the point when Lauren was talking about her made it seem like she was a creepy loser and normally I would become with friends with creepy losers but then Johnny came along and now I do  not have a friend that was a creepy loser,so thanks a lot Johnny"I set down madly"overdramatic much"he says he sits down next to his sister"I love you,I love you and I love you!!!!I love you more!!!I knew if I told you something creepy about her you would've researched her because you're just like researching people!!!
I think it's a little creepy but I don't care I just got to be right ha ha and people say I'm still a child that was the smartest thing I've ever came up with!!"I laughed as I hug her back"yeah no problem I didn't want to have to be your sister"she rolls her eyes"don't judge me that's besides not three of us thought about ever getting married because we think it's just a stupid paper Plus you didn't brought much either you literally just knock down a person and then told your deepest darkest secrets yeah that's what are you call growing up"she responds"you know what next time I'll just let you live with an asshole and deal with her forever"I respond as she pulls away"OK fine I'm sorry just stating facts,which by the way thanks a lot for never telling me the truth"I roll my eye" whatever besides the fact that I was terrified as a kid by if you tell my kids about any of this I will kill you I'm not joking"I respond back down"how are you gonna pull this off for two weeks"Johnny asked me,I look up at him"still don't know but it seems like it's working"I said with a shrug"so you're basically just gonna make up everything as you go along"he responded yeah pretty much"OK you really had nothing planned out did you" hayden says"hey I came up with this like two days ago what are you expect for me" I defend myself"she has a Point"Annie response"of course I do" I say"I still took away the point you won't say to your kids but you were comfortable enough saying it to a jerk ass!!why can you not just say it your own daughters!"Jayden said questionably
"good question well what am I stupid because they don't even know that your mom is it a victim of abuse and is the chicken when I have always have them to stand up for themselves what what do you think finding out I never did it's going to boost up their confidence and they don't need do you to know that their mom is probably a big mistake and they also don't even know that I'm suicidal because I don't need them worrying about me because of what their dad dying....also I'm not sure if they need to know about the whole me being confused about my feelings towards there dad...it's not like the best idea for them to have that in their head they're little l girls they don't need to worry about this stuff" I respond answering"hey why d0 you not think you were in love with their father" Carson asked I looked down and look back up"because when we met he help me through the worst time of my life because he went through a lot of shit..
so we clicked then through the year of us being friends thought I was falling in love with him but now I feel like I was in falling in love with the idea of having someone that related to me that much and that knew how I felt about it and and I was with him for six years and then friends with him for seven and but he got me over what happen with my parents,I mean I'm definitely not fully over it but it help me get to the next stage of not giving up in life and I think I was in love with that not him"they all just shake your head understanding"so moving out of your house didn't help"Hayden ask"no I tried everything but I need to run away!to figure out myself and to MoveOn being here wasn't helping I didn't thank coming back here would get to me as much but I wasn't ready but I guess you're never ready I night no I was being selfish but sometimes you just need to be selfish and it's OK"

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Hope you guys enjoyed💖