Dissociation was weird. Izuku felt... separated, floating away from his body and losing his grip on the world. It should have been scary for him, but it was honestly more calming than he'd expected. Reality was was harsh and any escape, albeit temporary was like a genie wish.
He didn't care when he started losing control of his quirk. He didn't care when he started ignoring people around him. He didn't care when everything dissolved into nothing and he was left trying to get through his day feeling like an observer.
'Weird' was an understatement he realised.
He knew people were worrying about him. The pity was obvious. Every time he looked in someone's eyes he felt like he was being punched in the gut. Useless Deku wasting people's time and feelings. He'd never change.
He wanted to laugh at how pathetic he was being, roll on the floor and laugh till he suffocated.
Didn't sound too bad to Deku.
Well, death was achievable, so maybe he could off himself? No, not yet. He didn't want to die that bad. He just wanted to sleep forever. Wait.. is there a difference?
Shrugging to himself, Izuku looked back to Aizawa as he continued lecturing the class, occasionally sending a concerned glance towards Izuku. Concern looked weird on his teachers face.
With a sigh Izuku tried to understand what he was saying, trying to comprehend the nonsense he was speaking. The voices were too distracting, Izuku quickly realised. Maybe he should name each voice? Some of them were pretty distinct compared to others.
'Hello?' He called out into his mind. He didn't know whether to expect them to reply, or them to even hear him honestly since his head was so loud with their voices. Most of the voices ignored him, however thankfully one voice replied with a simple greeting in return.
He wanted to talk to the voice, ask why they are there and what they wanted with him. He wanted to scream at them, swear at them (A strange thought for Izuku), he wanted to rip of their nonexistent heads and bash in their skulls.
"Deku?"
Izuku snapped out of his trance, glancing around to see no one left in the classroom besides his group of friends. Class must have ended.
Izuku ignored Uraraka, lifting himself from his seat and exiting the classroom without speaking a word. It was rude he knew, but at this point he couldn't care less. He just wanted to get out.
Uraraka visibly defeated, and Izuku felt a pang of disappointment in himself, jeez, he was getting heartless.
Izuku stumbled towards the school bathroom, and slipped into one of the stalls, locking the door.
He felt like we could breath, finally, as he wheezed air into his lungs. The voices were oddly quiet, and he felt unsure of what that could mean. His insides churned and he found himself subconsciously scratching at his skin. Tears formed at his eyes as he slid down the wall, struggling to breathe.
Black gooey tears streamed down his cheek and burned his skin, shapes dancing in his vision, hands reaching, reaching, reaching, reaching for him. A voice to his left whispered something, he didn't know what, he didn't want to know what. Lights flashed and screams burned through his ears. His face was melting, pain erupting through his skull. It hurt.
"Riya!"
"Midoriya!"
Everything paused, like a slap to his face. He slowly turned his shaking head towards the door of his stall. It had been bent and scrunched over, would that happen to him?
"Midoriya? Are you okay, bro?"
A boy. A boy with red hair and sharp teeth was looking at him. At him. Was he going to hurt him!?
Kirishima.
The world slowly stopped shaking, (or was that just him?), and he could see the dent beneath where he was curled up in the floor.
He must have lost his control on his quirk again. Idiot.
"U-Um h-hi?" He nervously stuttered, teeth chattering with fear.
"Bro! Are you okay? Do you want me to get Aizawa?" The redhead seemed to be the one who destroyed the door to his stall, probably because Izuku didn't open it for the boy.
Izuku paused, did he want Aizawa to come? He knew something was wrong with him, maybe the man could help? Or, would he hurt him?
Izuku just stared wide eyed at his classmate. Kirishima obviously took his silence as a yes so he pulled out his phone and held the device up to his ears. He muttered something to his teacher, but Izuku had stopped listening.
Why was this happening to him..?
He wanted to scream, (again? Probably).
He closed his eyes and rested his pounding head against the wall of the stall, not listening to anything anymore. He wanted to sleep, he hadn't been able to in a while, he was scared of what would happen if he did.
Maybe, just this once, he could allow himself to sleep. He would be fine, right?
YOU ARE READING
Live in a Dream - a Nightmare, actually
Fanfiction'I think I'm getting worse. I feel so dead inside. Everyday it's getting harder to breathe. I just want to sleep forever.' Izuku Midoriya was one of the few people who everyone assumed was always happy, showing his brave and hardworking attitude...