Falling For The Defenceless

its like im drowning in my own head

Depression is like someone else having the remote control and constantly switching channels without asking you what you would like to watch.

A guy inside my head shouting at me and telling me I'm shit 24 hours a day.

 Like the worst day of your life, every single day. It feels like everything's falling apart and worthless even if it's not.

Numbness. You want any emotion not just to be happy being angry or sad would be better than numb.

A distance between you and the world. You cannot see any tangible future, so there is a feeling of hopelessness.

It takes extra effort to do anything because the world is so far away, and emotions rarely make it through the void either so you are numb and distant (and all to often using lots of energy to prevent people from realising how you actually feel).

 As though I had been run over by a bus – not that it was painful, but that it was this huge weight on top of me that I couldn't move.

It's a bit like being lost a sea, with rough waters, trying to tread water believing yourself entirely alone, no hope of rescue and knowing that your going to run out of energy soon, and eventually one wave is going to be enough for you to sink under.

This is all Kurt knew now. He had no escape. It was one constant cycle with no end.