I cant hold your hand anymore

30 1 0
                                    

TW:Character death

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Oh, yeah, I tell you something

I think you'll understand

When I say that something's
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

ambulances, doctors, nurses, ambulance attendants, paramedics, volunteers, porters, priests, visitors, firemen, police officers, pink/green/blue or patterned scrubs, gurney, clipboards, IV bags and stands, blood, cuts, bruises, pus, torn tissue, casts, arm slings...

doors sliding open and shut, furnace, air exchanger, screams, cries moans, gasps, grunts/hisses of pain, people talking in low voices, intercom calling out codes/directions, squeaky wheelchairs, the clack of the keyboard, a low-volumed radio or TV, heavy...

cleaners (pine, lemon, bleach etc), antiseptic, a metallic tang from stainless steel in the open air, bleach wafting from bedding, blood, vomit, sweat, perfume/cologne, the scent of get well flowers, questionable food smells from room trays, grease/meaty/soup

My gaze swivelled over the waiting room, looking for a place for Finn and I to sit. A TV played quietly in one corner, a distraction that might help keep his mind off what was going on with my dad. The seats closest to it stood empty, sandwiched between two sweating and shivering men. As one leaned forward and filled the space with harsh, hacking coughs, I understood why no one else had jumped at the prime location. I steered Finn to the other side of the room, the bland walls and tableful of torn magazines suddenly much more appealing...

The orderly sped down the hall with his crash cart, straining to reach the him, Doctors swarmed his bed, bees serving their queen, racing to bring him back from the dead...

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Oh please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
And please, say to me
You'll let me hold your hand
You'll let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

"i dont think hes going to make it"

The words rung in my head. I didnt hear anything else they said so all my hope was on Finn actually listening for once

I was totally numb to the outside world.

That's when it rang. The one tone you never want to hear in your life. So monotone and lifeless it ironic.

And when I touch you I feel happy
Inside
It's such a feeling that my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

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im not religous but i do know this:

When the good Lord was creating Fathers he started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of Father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put Fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping." And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child-size, who would children have to look up to?"

And when God made a Father's hands, they were large and sinewy. And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do you know what you're doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats." And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day...yet small enough to cup a child's face in his hands."

And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. And the angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?" And God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, and hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had every seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That's not fair. Do you honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?" And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury Cross, or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."

God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained calm and tolerant. Finally, almost as an afterthought, he added tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now, are you satisfied that he can love as much as a Mother?"

The angel shuteth up.

my dad is the perfect description.

Sorry was.

Yeah, you got that something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you I feel happy
Inside
It's such a feeling that my love
I can't hide
I can't hide
I can't hide

Yeah, you got that something
I think you'll understand
When I feel that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

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song- i want to hold your hand by the beatles

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