"It's me again. In all honesty, before I picked up this pen, I had plenty of things I felt like I needed to say. Yet here I am, pen in hand, thoughts racing through my mind, and not having the willpower to put them into words. I always struggled with expressing myself to others, and it's one of the reasons for why we got close to begin with. As cliche as it sounds, you were different. You didn't give up easily. You wanted to know what made me, me. And I gave in. I guess, I couldn't resist your charm. I remember, feeling as though the weight was being lifted off of me every time I vented to you. At the beginning, you listened. You heard every word I said, and the words I didn't have the courage to speak. And you listened. It's why I fell for you. You weren't unrealistic with the advice you gave. You were upfront. Honest. You always told me that it would hurt less hearing it than learning it the hard way. And you were right. Gosh, you always had a habit of being right. I remember that one particular day. I was having a really bad day; almost as though I was feeling the pain of the world in my heart. And I didn't know what to do to get it to stop. I kept panicking. You told me to just stop. I almost walked out on you that day, because I didn't know what you meant by that. How could you turn from being someone so understanding to someone that refuses to listen to the fact I thought I had no control? I scoffed and faced the other way. But then, you took my hand. And you told me something that I still remember to this day. You said: "At times we're going to feel as though the whole world is against us, and that the pain we feel amounts to everything. But then, we'll have other days, and on those days we won't be able to understand what made us feel that way, because we'll be so happy. And it's how life is. But if, on the bad days, you continue to let yourself spiral into this tunnel of negativity, you're never going to escape. You'll see darkness surrounding you, wherever you turn. Wherever you choose to go. It's because you're not allowing yourself to just stop. Sometimes we need to, do just that. So when I say stop, I'm not saying it in a way that I don't understand. I'm saying, stop thinking so much, and breathe. Let yourself feel all that you're feeling without letting yourself think of so much more. I know at times, it's not easy, but I know you, and I know that you're strong. So if anyone can do this, it's you."
Word for word. I remember coming home that day and writing this down. I had to remember these words. Because for once, it didn't feel like the advice was forced. It genuinely felt like I had someone. Someone who cared, and someone who was genuinely looking out for me. And I remember how, even though I carried this ache in my mind, I smiled. And I fell asleep smiling. I told myself, I had found a home. And it felt like I did."
