"You always told me how you wondered if you even deserved me, and I always blushed and said no one deserved me more. But, now that I look back? I understand. I understand why you always said that. I guess its because I was the one that loved more. I remember those nights where I wasn't feeling myself, but you weren't either. I forced my wounds shut, and listened to you instead. I put you first and promised you it'd be okay, when the ironic thing was, I was going through the exact same and there was no one to reassure me, no one to tell me it'll be okay. I was hoping you'd be that person for me, but you never were. You always agreed with the advice I gave you, and said that you didn't want to talk about it any more or it'll make you feel worse. I understood. I understood you. I understood your silence, but why couldn't you understand mine? I remember that one particular time. It was nearing exams and I was panicking. I felt so weak and drawn towards my sadness, but then you were happy. And you told me just how happy you were. You looked me in the eyes and said that you hadn't been this happy in a while. You said you don't want anything to ruin this happiness. I had to gulp my tears there and then. I had to swallow any negativity I felt and I convinced myself that you came first. I did this so that my sadness wasn't given the slightest chance to effect you in any negative way. Secretly though, I would hope that perhaps you'd look into my eyes long enough to notice how much I needed you, but you never did. I know now why you thought you were undeserving of my love. Because I poured so much love into you, so much, that it was almost like I gave away the love I was meant to give myself. I loved you with all the love I had to give. And don't get me wrong; I don't regret it. But, I just wish you loved me enough to tell me how important it was to love myself first. I wish you told me that I didn't have to give away everything just to have you by my side. I wish you loved me. But you just loved the love I had to give."
