I wandered up the Astronomy Tower stairs. A light breeze swept through, blowing my hair back. As I perambulated I let my thoughts wander back to after the champions had been chosen. Crabbe and Goyle had begun to pick on Birch again. But... she had reacted differently this time. She normally kept her head held high and ignored it, but her eyes stared at the floor not giving their usual disdainful glare and she quickly walked away, clinging onto the strap of her bag and I could have sworn I'd seen tears in her eyes. I hadn't really thought much of the encounter at the time but I was now vaguely intrigued. Had I really made her cry? Did that bother me? No, of course not. Her whole family were blood traitors. My intention was to upset her, right? Right. I was a Malfoy and a Birch didn't deserve my sympathy. But she had looked so sad. I'd never even imagined that I would succeed in making her cry. She seemed so strong that it was impossible to imagine that my words had actually got to her, nevermind made her get upset. I reminded myself that it didn't bother me, not in the slightest and carried on my climb to the top of the tower.
The closer I got the more I could her small noises coming from the top. They sounded like sobs. My curiosity got the better of me as I softened my footsteps and approached slowly. As I turned the corner I saw a girl who seemed to be a fellow fourth year. Realising who it was I stopped and stared at her wondering whether I should turn back or not. Morum Birch herself stood there staring up at the stars with tear stained cheeks and sad eyes. Uncertainty hit me in the stomach as I was still frozen to the spot. My body ached with the foreign urge to go and comfort her, but my pride and sensibilities stopped me from doing so. Staying where I was I called, "Would you look at that. It's a Birch. Fancy seeing you here." Her head turned to face me and her eyes darkened. "What do you want, Malfoy?" She tried for spite, but it came out pitiful. "Well I wanted to relax, but it seems that's going to be impossible with you snivelling." I sneered, pushing away the guilt swirling in my stomach. "Oh, shove off. Haven't you got better things to be doing?" She spat. Ignoring her question, I waltzed over to a bench nearby and plonked myself down on it. "I'd rather stay here." I replied, idly. She scowled at me not bothering to reply. "Why are you crying anyway?" I asked, brazenly. She scoffed. "And you started caring when?" I pushed myself off the seat and sauntered over to her. "Say I did." My tone softer now. "Would you tell me?" She laughed scornfully, but I could hear the uncertainty in her voice. "Why? So you could just use it against me? No thanks. And anyway, you don't care. You've made that perfectly clear." Her tone was bitter.
"What if I had a change of heart?" I insisted. "That would imply that you had a heart, Malfoy." She ridiculed. I leaned on the balcony and looked up at the sky, thinking of what to say next. After a moment or two of silence, I said "Please?" She kept her eyes on the constellations above. "Like I said, you'd use it against me." The uncertainty that had been there before now disintegrated with this comment. It was entirely plausible. I could. I could get an answer out of her and use it as a very effective weapon again and again. Until what? A voice crept into my mind. Until she throws herself off this very tower? When would you stop? Maybe now was a good time to stop. Was there any real reason why I taunted her anyway? She was a blood traitor, sure. But was that really a good enough reason to make someone cry? Was I even the reason she was crying anyway? It could be something completely unrelated to me. Then I could be at ease again. Not that I wasn't now, of course. That would mean I cared, and just like Birch had said, I didn't.
"Is it me?" I blurted. "Am I the reason you're crying?" As soon as the words escaped my lips, I mentally cursed myself. Way to remain indifferent. 'What if I had a change of heart?' A voice in the back of my head taunted. "Shut up." I muttered, not sure if I was talking to the voice or myself. "What?" Morum frowned. I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. "Um, not you." I mumbled, quickly. Her frown deepened as she glanced around the empty tower. "Who then?" Her voiced laced with confusion. "No one." I mumbled again, wanting to change the subject immediately. "Is it though? Because of me, I mean." I felt her reach over and pat my back stiffly. "Go get help. Mental help. Preferably from St. Mungo's. Merlin knows you need it." I huffed, brushing her hand away. Her unfamiliar touch sent shivers through my arm. "I do not." She drew her hand back and gave a shrug. "If you insist." After a short pause she proceeded to say. "And yes. It is because of you." I frowned, knowing now that I had something to use against her but also knowing that I didn't want to. It was a strange feeling that I wasn't used to. I didn't like it. At. All. "Why?"
"Why?" She repeated incredulously. "Because I can't go a day without you saying something horrible to me. You pick on me just because me and my family choose to be open-minded. Do you realise how unfair that is? You're no better than everyone else and it's time you realise that. We're all people, Malfoy. Living, breathing, people with feelings. Feelings that you find joy in hurting. I'm sick of feeling insignificant and small. I'm sick of feeling worthless. Do you understand how ignorant you can be? How utterly vile?" She ranted, her face contorted with anger and disgust. I began to fidget. I tried desperately to think of something to say, but I wasn't sure what the right thing would be. I felt more than guilty. I felt ashamed. "I- I never meant to make you feel that way." I silently cursed myself for stuttering. She studied my face. Searching it for a sign of this being another joke. I took this as an opportunity to do the same. She really was beautiful and had definitely grown over the summer. Her dark raven coloured hair shimmered from the light of the moon. It contrasted nicely with her delicate, porcelain skin. Her eyes were the most captivating though. Her right eye was a deep ocean blue, while her left was a bright forest green. I was baffled with how I'd never noticed it before. My cheeks heated the more I admired her.
"Are you sure you're not ill?" She asked again, putting a soft, smooth hand on my forehead. "I'm fine." I said pushing away that familiar tingling feeling. "I'm just sorry, I guess." She replied, dryly. "I know, that's what concerns me." I frowned at her comment though I knew she had every right to act this way. I never apologised. I opened my mouth to say something but was stopped by Morum putting a hand up to me. "If it bothers you that much, just stop." I nodded a little too vigorously. "I will." I said, and I meant it. I'd make sure Crabbe and Goyle got the memo too. "Okay. Well I'm going to head back to my common room now. If you're sure you'll be okay on your own." I leaned forward slightly, feeling my shoulders relax. "I've not gone mental, Birch." She cast me a doubtful look. "We'll see." She said straightening out her Ravenclaw robes and turning away. My eyes followed her until she was out of sight. I let out a soft laugh and turned back to the glittering sky. This was going to be an eventful year.
