The life of a broken girl

I don't wanna eat

I woke up and I was in Tanners arms it made me feel good inside. Hey there sleepy head I heard him say. Hey I say in a raspy morning voice. How long have you been awake I ask. Long enough to watch my beautiful girl sleeping he says. Sttoop I say I'm not beautiful. (Stop is like joking laughing kind of speaking) It got silent and my smile slowly started to fade and a tear started trickling down my face. Hey hey it's okay he says as he pulls me closer to him. You are beautiful in every way don't ever say you aren't again, you are. Thank you I say. For what? For being so nice to me you are the only one that saw a different side of me not the pathetic loser everyone calls me. You are not a pathetic looser you are so much more he says. My lip started curving up into a smile. Thank you I tell him for saving my life. Of course I'm glad to have saved the girl of my dreams.

Dad hey I say as my dad walks in. Hey Dan Tyler says. We're on a first name basis now I ask no one in particular. Please you think I'm gonna let him call me Mr. Taylor that's way to formal for me my dad says. I let out a chuckle. Whatever floats your boat. How are you feeling my dad asks. Good, better actually still a little weak and in pain but better. That's good I'm glad. I'm gonna go pick up some food do you guys want anything. Sure/no we both say at the same time. My boyfriend gives me the biggest glare yes I said my boyfriend at least I think he is. Yes I change my answer to. That's good you need to eat something get your energy back my dad says. I will if you actually go get me something I joke but I had no intentions of eating anything. I'm going I'm going he says as he leaves the room. Leaving me and Tanner alone.

There was a light knock on the door. Come in I say. My brother walks in if i can even call him that. Hey can I talk to you please alone. Um I say a little bit unsure. Do I really wanna be alone with home right now. If you think for one second I am leaving you alone with her you are mistaken Tanner say's a little bit to loud for my liking making me wince a little bit. That hurt my ears. It's okay I'll be fine I assure him. U sure I can stay. No we need talk. I'll be right outside if you need me he says as he gets up and walks out. Chad sits down on the chair next to the bed. I'm sorry I shouldn't have done all the things I did it was wrong of me I'm a horrible person he says. Why did you do it I ask as I look at the door refusing to look at him. I don't know I guess I was just so caught up in being popular I lost sight of what's really important. I don't know who I am anymore loosing mom it messed me up too, it made me into a different person one who is a jerk. I've tried to change, I've tried to be a better person but for some reason I can't it's like something's holding me back. What's holding you back I ask him still not looking at him only now looking down at the bed sheets. It fell silent for a moment as he though of an answer. That if I let my guard down I'll just break down. Look I truly am sorry and when I found out you were in the hospital and why my heart just broke into pieces knowing I caused this I pushed you past your breaking point you don't have to forgive me right away at least try please I don't wanna loose you he said. Ok I'll try to forgive you, it may take me some time to get over you hurting but I'll try I say. I start to yawn (I just yawned haha). Get some rest o, I'm gonna go apologize to tanner try to work it out with him. He gets up and starts to leave as he starts to leave. Chad I say. Ya he says looking back at me. You don't have to change who you are just how you act. And with that he left. I feel asleep not to long after.

I feel myself being lightly shook awake foods here I heard someone say I mentally groan I'm not prepared to eat I lost count after 3 weeks but just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I pretend like I'm still asleep. Ivy come on I know your awake you gotta eat your very malnourished that's not good for you. H-how d-do you know that. The doctor told us. Of course they would tell my dad that. I take a fry in my hand everyone around me enjoying they're own food I don't eat it I just stare at it for a while as I start to cry slowly bring it up to my mouth knowing I'm gonna have to eat something eventually.
(Time skip an hour)

I'm still slowly eating my food I finished my fries but I have a few nuggets left my dad thought it would be best to start me of with something easy so I don't get too overwhelmed but to say I'm not would be an understatement. Everyone's been really supportive and encouraging especially Tanner he's been my rock through all of this. I was getting annoyed of eating and it was making me really tired but I had to eat everything or at least try so I shoved a whole chicken nugget down my throat which wasn't very smart considering I haven't had that much food go down like that at once for a while causing me to start coughing. I don't really know what's happening everyone's looking at me concerned. It's like I just felt the air being taken out of me all the sudden I couldn't breath entirely and I was seeing spots I could vaguely hear and see doctors rushing in trying to help me I somewhat wish they wouldn't try I can just imagine girl died because of chicken nugget I mean come on that's way better than I could do I couldn't even Kill myself. Darkness over took me until there was nothing else.

It's crazy to think someone can actually die by choking on a chicken nugget. Your probably thinking choking isn't as bad as you made it seem in this case it is she was already weak from being malnourished and all the blood she lost, the surgery therefore being a little more severe.
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🎶:Room to breath- kyler fisher
So I know the song doesn't necessarily fit the story but I like kyler's music.