Now & Then (A Newland High School story)

6. Four Months Ago

"Breathe it in this time," Aric instructs. "Don't suck on it like a straw."

I nod, placing the joint between my lips. I start to take in a breath.

"Slow down," he tells me. "Take your time."

Now I expand my lungs gradually, not rushing, just slowly taking in the warm smoke. My throat is a little sore from the coughing fit I just had, but the smoke still goes down smooth. Aric watches me, giving me a small smile as I do what he taught me. Closing my mouth, holding it in, before slowly blowing the smoke out.

I still can't believe he agreed to this. It took a lot of convincing, mostly during our late night texts, but he finally relented. I've always wanted to try marijuana, and I trusted Aric to help me.

"No coughing this time," I say, handing the joint to him.

He chuckles, before taking in a big inhale of smoke and blowing it out. "I guess the tenth time's the charm."

I elbow him, and take back the object that would surely make my mother faint if she ever knew I had it in my possession. We finish smoking in silence, and I rest my head on the side of Aric's bed. The window is open to let the smoke out, but it's letting cold air in. I had noticed it earlier but, crazily enough, it's not bothering me anymore.

I can barely keep my eyes open until Aric asks, "Are you hungry?"

"Yes."

"I can order a pizza, but it won't get here for awhile, or I have some chips I think—"

"Chips are good," I interrupt. I'm not in the mood for waiting.

He laughs, standing up from the floor. I'm amazed he is able to move so quickly. I feel like my legs weigh a hundred pounds.

"I'll be right back." He leaves the room, and I take a moment to check out my surroundings.

I've never been in his room before, but it's exactly how I pictured it. His bed is unmade, and there are stacks of graphic novels piled haphazardly on his desk and floor. Besides that though, it is clean. I have to wonder if he picked everything up, knowing I was coming over after school today.

He has one of those old school iPod and speaker setups—like I had in middle school—and it peaks my curiosity. I wonder what kind of music he likes. Once I finally get myself moving, I realize that it isn't actually as difficult as I thought it would be. When I light the iPod screen up, I see that it's a Whitney Houston song. I back track and see that he was listening to a playlist entitled 'Divas'.

"Don't laugh." Aric's voice comes from behind me. He is standing in the doorway, a bag of Doritos in one hand and two water bottles in the other. "It was originally for my sister."

I realize that my mouth is hanging open, and I'm not quite sure what to say. A part of me says to tease him about it—by the good natured smile on his face, I don't think he would really be offended—but the other part of me...

"I wanna listen to it."

He motions with his hand to go ahead and I press Play. Aric returns to his spot next to me on the floor just as Whitney's voice booms out of the speakers.

Didn't we almost have it all?
When love was all we had worth giving
The ride with you was worth the fall

I close my eyes, letting the words wash over me. I'd never heard it sound like this before. I can actually feel it in my chest.

Before the final chord, I skip to the next song, and Celine Dion starts singing about her heart going on. I dig into the bag of chips. I try to chew quietly, not wanting to disturb the other sounds entering my brain.

After a couple minutes, I switch to the next song. Janet Jackson. And the pattern continues. I let the words of Aretha, and Madonna, and Dolly take over my consciousness and completely understand why Aric has this playlist.

"This is...perfect." I turn my head lazily to the side to see Aric laughing, his shoulders shaking silently.

"Why don't you listen to the end of the songs?" He wipes at his eye.

"I don't?"

That makes him laugh even more. "No. You turn it halfway through every time."

"Oh. I don't know. I never noticed." Although now that he's pointing it out, I can't deny it.

"You really don't like endings, do you?"

I turn the music down. "What are you talking about?"

He holds up his fingers to start counting. "You don't listen to the end of songs. You never watched the ending to The Notebook. You refused to believe the ending of Great Expectations wasn't a happy one."

"I'm fine with endings, but no, I don't want to walk away feeling sad. And I can't help it if all your songs are breakup ones."

"But sometimes life is sad, Lilly."

I don't respond to that, but not because I'm upset—I do not think I could physically be upset right now—but because Alicia Keys is currently speaking to my soul.

When the song is almost over, I push the little arrows before turning and winking at Aric. He laughs. "I really thought you were going to finish that one."

I smile, shrugging. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course."

I lean over, my chest resting against his arm, before whispering, "I actually like your music. A lot."

Sitting back, I watch as he chuckles quietly, staring at his hands.

"Now you're turn," I say. "I told you a secret."

I actually had no intention of this being a game but am slightly relieved when he says okay.

This time, he leans over, cupping his hand around my ear. "I think you're really pretty."

The butterflies in my stomach are getting quite the workout today. Despite the fact that Aric and I have been texting daily and talking at school, this is the first time we have been alone since Derek's party.

He sits back, tapping his ear, indicating my turn. I try to think of something cute, and not giving away how much I like him, but my usual inhibitions are nowhere to be found.

I lean back over. "I think about you, all the time."

He keeps his eyes down, attempting to hold back a smile. But when he looks up at me, one side leans upward, giving me a half grin that makes me feel like I'm flying.

His lips are on my ear again. "I really want to kiss you again."

He pulls back, waiting for my reaction, and he gets it in a subtle nod. I notice that in the sunlight shining in from his window, his eyes look blue, not the gray that I'm used to seeing. That's my last thought before his lips are on mine.

If I was worried about this kiss not standing up to the last, I needn't be. He's just as I remember, and better. His hand is in my hair, and my hands are on his chest. I feel a push to be closer, so I move to his lap, one leg on each side of his hips.

"You are so much more than I thought you were," I say, pulling back slightly.

He pauses, his thumb grazing along my cheek. "So are you."

He moves to my neck, kissing me there, and I hear Adele on the speakers.

Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?

I smile to myself, feeling Aric's tongue making patterns along my skin.

I finally listened to the end.