Haikyuu Angst Week

Day 2

Day 2 - Tier 2: Insecurity
Kuroken

Kuroo didn't like being alone. When he was alone all he had was himself. And when it was just himself his mind was free to roam wild. 

The mind could be a dangerous place. It can serve as a place for people's darkest demons and monsters to hide as they wait for the right time to attack you. 

One day Kuroo was having a movie night with his boyfriend Kenma. They recently haven't been able to talk much due to Kuroo going to college and Kenma being in his third year and volleyball.

They were currently watching a movie together, snuggling under the covers.  Kuroo's roommates had gone out that night so it was just them in his dorm room. 

It was so nice to be with his boyfriend. Kenma was so quiet ad gentle, he always calmed Kuroo down and made him feel better. It was as if all his problems just disappeared when Kenma was around. But recently things had changed. 

Kenma was not talking with Kuroo much or answering his texts. Kuroo told himself that he was probably just busy which he would have believed if it weren't for the fact that he would then go and look on social media to see a picture of Kenma and Hinata hanging out together. 

Kenma and Hinata were close anyone could figure that out. Kuroo had no issue with them hanging out either in fact he was happy to know Kenma had a close friend like Hinata. But sometimes he didn't like it that much.

Believe it or not, Kuroo was not as overconfident as he first appears. He constantly would have to deal with his insecurities on whether he was good enough or not. A good enough volleyball player, captain, friend, and even boyfriend...

There were times where he wondered if Kenma favored being with Hinata other than him. That he would prefer hanging out and playing games with his friend instead of spending time with his boyfriend. 

There were times where he would fear that Kenma would find someone better. That he would fall out of love with Kuroo and leave him for someone better. 

That's why he didn't like being alone, when he was alone these thoughts would become so loud. He could cover his ears which wouldn't help. He could play some music but that would only tune out the thoughts a little. He relied on others to help him, engaging in conversations with others or even just being around others would help him focus on something else and eventually. 

When he was with Kenma it was as if the thoughts were nonexistent

 So why could he hear them now?

Why were things changing?

Kuroo looked over to Kenma who was currently distracted on his phone instead of watching the movie. He caught a glimpse of what he was doing. He was texting someone.

He looked a little closer only to see that he was texting none other than Hinata. 

'Of course' he thought.

'You shouldn't be surprised, you know he likes him better than you. Why can't you just be better for him?' 

Kuroo shook his head trying to rid his mind of such thoughts. He couldn't deal with this now, not with Kenma here. 

Kuroo moved closer to Kenma hoping he could hug him and he would feel better. Sadly he was wrong. 

The minute he had hugged Kenma he felt weird as if what he was doing was wrong. He noticed how Kenma was trying to squirm his way out of his arms. "Kuroo your hugging me too tight." He said softly.