Aurora : Temptress Of The Dusk

Chapter 6

             I wonder what oblivion feels like. The feeling of absolute ignorance. Am I oblivious? I have absolutely no memory of the past week. Evelyn said we had a funeral for Daven, so why don't I remember it? Is this what people with amnesia go through? Oh my god! Do I have amnesia? I'm going crazy. I'm talking padded walls, medical ward and electric shock crazy. I have already lost half my mind but I'm glad I have Evelyn with me. She's the only one who can fill in the gaps.

"Evelyn, I need you to explain to me what exactly happened after the accident."

She is wearing her 'elder sister concern look', but I know she genuinely cares for me.

"Okay. What do you remember last?"

"It was raining and I was by his car. The crash was bad, really bad. That's all I can remember. He was in there. Cold and passive." The last words are just a trail of words on my tongue.

"You don't remember my arrival?"

What? Evelyn found me?

"No. I don't remember anything else."

"It's okay. I'll tell you everything that I know."

              I release a heavy breath that I didn't realize I was holding. Finally. I'll get all the answers to the questions that have been nagging me. She continues telling me everything.

"When I was taking a turn to drive by your place, I saw the car. Or what was left if it." I flinch at the choice of her words, "I immediately jumped out to help and saw you sitting there by the driver's door. You were just sitting there and staring at him. I called out for you but you didn't respond. I stepped in the puddle of mud, water and blood and grabbed you by your shoulder to stand you up but you were dead weight. So I called your father. Lifting you was not a cake walk. But I got you in somehow. Your jeans was drenched in muddy and bloody water. I helped you take a shower while the cops were dealing with him and the crash. Your mother and father were home too by then. You were in shock I suppose. That kind of trauma can harm our mind in funny ways sissy." She was right. Not about this being funny, but about the trauma messing with my rational brain. I am shutting down. But not now. Not anymore.

"The accident was due to rain and fog so the case was closed. Daven's mother wanted to be done with the funeral but you weren't responding to us. To anyone. We waited for four days for you to come back to the land of the living, but you didn't. Finally, on the fifth day, his mom had him cremated as per their family rituals and went to her native for his last rites. She had to spread his ashes where he was born. She sold the house because it was too painful to stay there. Even after everything, we waiting for you to come back to us. To recover from your shock. But you didn't. Your mother had some emergency at the hospital last night and she had to leave for a  forty-eight hour shift and your father  had a very important counsel meeting out of town. Your parents were not at all willing to leave you. But I promised them I'd take good care of you. So I came by. I left to get some take-out and you were just gone. I was talking to your mother when you showed up just now. I was worried."

             Her words are probing my heart. Piercing deep. Daven died and I was too out of it to notice? Granted it wasn't like I was on drugs and sleeping. But shock or no shock, trauma or no trauma, I missed his funeral. I didn't get to say goodbye.

I didn't get to see him one last time. His deep dimples popping in as he smiled. The loose curl of his hair hanging from the underside of his head-band. His awfully long t-shirt and the black band in his left hand. I'd never see those things again. I didn't get to say I love you.

Evelyn wipes away my tears and hugs me. The crash, the cops, the funeral, it's all over. Wait, cops?

"Evelyn, the cops said they didn't know anything about the crash." She looks slightly startled by my query but quickly recovers. I spot annoyance on her beautiful face but maybe I just caught her off-gaurd.

"What? Maybe they didn't answer you because you called over the phone. You know that can't give out information."

"How do you know I called them over the phone?" I fire back.

"Because you were gone for  one hour, duh? The sheriff's department is a longer drive."

Of course. Why am I getting so paranoid?

"Yes maybe your right."

"Aurora, you can call deputy Smallwood, he knows your mother personally. He can answer you."

          Why didn't I think of it? Oh right, I've lost my mind that's why. I do just that. Evelyn walks away to give me privacy, I think. She stands at the far end of the room turns towards me, her hands folded behind her waist. I hear the soft click of the phone ringing.

"Hello, I'm Aurora Evans. I wanted to ask about the crash last week at Portland road."

"Oh my dear, I'm sorry about your boyfriend. Are you feeling alright? His paper work was completed and his custody was granted to his mother a few days back and as I understand it, he was cremated."

          He seemed like a nice person. He told me everything I needed to know and the subtle paranoia was drained. His statement and facts matched with everything Evelyn told me. Not that I was confirming or anything, I know Evelyn and trust her. But it still doesn't help with the pain. Atleast now I know everything. I have my answers and they didn't help me the way I wanted them to, but I'm relieved that I finally know everything.
      Evelyn takes the small parcel from the table and removes two boxes of spaghetti. We eat our cold dinner and sleep together in my bed. She promised mom that she wouldn't leave my side again. And she didn't. I drifted off into blissful dreams of his curly hair and sweet dimpled smile.

        And then, I screamed.

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