WALK A LIFETIME IN MY SHOES 2.0

YOU ARE ALWAYS WINNING

I know that it might be a little hard to agree with me on this one. I mean how can it be possible to always win? Never losing!? Sounds like Utopia doesn't it? Well spare me a few minutes as I break it down for you.

I was not dealt the best set of cards in life. I will not say I had a tough upbringing but it was definitely not easy. I have deeper scars than being bullied for being outran by girls. I grew up in a home of two. Just my mother and I and for a long time I hated it. My father was barely in the picture when I was younger, he would pop up for the occasional birthday and treat me to lunch. The older I grew, the more he distanced himself. It got a point where we would not talk or meet for more than two years. The worst thing is that I would disregard my mother's efforts in pursuit of his affection. God bless my mother's soul. Never did she discourage me from reaching out to the man. In fact she would motivate me to. She probably understood that a young boy needs fatherly love, no matter how little he receives.

I remember this one time in high school when we had a class disco. Normally the disco would be scheduled to begin at 18h00 and the guardians of the students were expected to collect their children between 22h00 and 22h30. This was to be my last disco at the school and so I begged my mother to go. She was out of the country at the time so there would be no one to accompany and collect me from school at those hours. I was gutted when she explained this, as if it was her fault. She did however manage to pull a few strings and organised for one of her friends to take me to school that evening.

Since she was out of the country she pleaded with my father to be the one to fetch me from school as soon as the disco finished. I had one of the best and worst nights that day. When we wrapped up the event I called him multiple times and he was not answering. I waited by the school gate for a while, watching my peers enter their parent's cars one by one until I was the only one left. The teachers naturally began to worry and they asked for my mother's contact details. I explained that she was not in the country but they insisted on talking to her themselves. I really believe that they thought I had come to the disco without permission from my guardian. I don't blame them, it was well past midnight when they called her and that ought to have raised a few eyebrows. My father on the other hand was having non of living up to his word. I was just not his problem. My very own superwoman made yet another plan. She arranged for one of her friends to collect me and let me sleep at their home. 

Let me get back on track. That was not the only time I was disappointed by him, there were many more times. I guess what I am getting at is that I never received fatherly love in abundance but this fact does not hinder my perception of fatherhood. One could say I have every right to hate fathers, to see no significance is the bunch nor the role itself. 

Now let me show you how I won despite having been dealt such a set of cards. Everything I longed for as a kid, the things I wished I could do with my father I will do with my children. The lesson I wished he could have taught me, I will teach my kids. Even in misfortune I chose to look for the silver lining. I know full well that I will be a good father, all I have to do is the opposite of what he did. I have applied the same way of thinking not just in this matter but everything else in my life. Whenever I feel down I always tell myself "the only way that you can go now is up". And just like that, my victory begins.

Never think that your problems are too insignificant. What is the difference between someone that drowns in a swimming pool and someone who drowns out at sea when they both lose their lives? Find strength in your weaknesses and remember that it is okay to hurt.  After all you would not be much of a human if you didn't. Rather train yourself to look for solutions and lessons whenever you find yourself in a pickle. Life is always going to throw jabs at you and some will hit harder than others. Only those that will manage to fight their way out of a corner and manage to counter life's attacks will prevail. No matter what situation you find yourself in, there will always be a silver lining. 

Life comes with blessings or lessons, train yourself to understand this concept.