WALK A LIFETIME IN MY SHOES 2.0

A LETTER TO MYSELF

Dear me

I know that you live a lot in your past. You are always trying to recreate the moments you hold dear. I agree that those were amazing moments worth reliving but it is killing you to keep dragging them along. They deserve to be left where they belong and that is in your past.

I mean sure, those walks after school with your mates where you would all laugh and made fun of one another were amazing. And those days you would stay on school grounds after school and hit on girls were pretty cool at the time and let me not get started on the period of your trial exams. In fact let me stroll down memory lane for a bit. 

Man trial exams were everything. Not the exams themselves because they were horrible, but the different things that happened during that time. It was as if, in your own way, you were saying goodbye to your friends because you knew that inevitably you would grow apart with some of them. Like the people that were there when you lit your first cigarette, or the ones you sat next to in your different classes. You knew that down the line you will cease to keep contact with them. So you did so many things in the little time you had with them. So that you would at least have those memories.

You spent a lot of time living in those memories and when you failed you sought to recreate them. Upon failure you did what you did best, you began living in them. Failing to realise that you are missing out on the present and when you look back when you are much older you will have so little to remember because you never made new memories. As important as it is to remember, it is even more important to not be trapped in your memories.

Again, sure it was exhilarating to have that first cigarette and many more after that and eventually choosing to quit. Sure you had an unforgettable time that  one time your prom was on your birthday. Or that other time in high school when your class went on a three day art trip and you and a couple of friends got wasted in a very cold ox wagon.  Rather yet, the five day class trip to Durban that other time, man you were something else.

I guess what I am getting trying to make you understand is that you ought to move on. You are all grown up man, look at yourself! You are missing out on the present. As exciting as it was being a little kid... an irresponsible little kid who knew very little about the concept of actions having consequences. All of that has passed now and thankfully you have grown some sense. You can not keep being that clueless menace anymore. It is time to close that chapter of your life and start writing the next one. Don't worry about the future so much, it is not set in stone. The contents of this new chapter will determine how the ones after it will turn out. So the better the chapter, the better the chapters after this one.

Like your favourite philosopher Alan Watts once said, "We do not realise that there was, is, nor will be any other experience than present experience". Do not live your life just preparing for your future, rather live in the present and the present will prepare your future. And I know it is scary, I am telling you to walk into a land of new possibilities and you are terrified of what you can not control. After all  you spent your life trying to gain control. It's okay, you will be fine. Look at the people you have around you, you are not alone. 

Well I have to go now. I know you will do great.

Yours truly, You.