How It Feels To Be Lost ♠ Kellic

Never Enough

I cannot stick to a schedule to save my life 🤠 I'm sorry for the wait!

~•~

Victor shut the trunk with a soft thud and a slow inhale.

It had been almost a month or so of them on the cottage and they could have easily been, despite all, the best month of Victor's life. Kellin had worked on himself, he was far more open with Victor now. Although he still struggled with opening up, he still tried and it seemed to get better every time Victor encouraged Kellin. It's undeniable that Victor had doubted the changes, at first. The close-to-manipulative cycle they were stuck on went for far too long and it was odd the thought of breaking it, which led Victor to question just how unhealthy their relationship used to be.

Victor improved, too. Upon noticing Kellin's mannerisms that once would have gone by silently due to ignorance's bliss, Victor learned to speak up about it; it was, after all, one of the guides for Kellin's improving. Pointing out what was in the wrong so Kellin could repair it instead of letting the man guess by himself, of course it would be helpful. Victor somehow seemed a little less soft. No, of course he was still as gentle as ever, still as loving and stuff, but he didn't seem like he would break his back bending to Kellin's every wish anymore; and yes, that was a huge thing.

Maybe it was the distrust. Maybe it was the self-preservation. Because even after all the time they spent together, healing together, helping each other, Kellin was yet to prove to Victor a real change over what used to hurt them — Victor hoped, prayed that "used to" was worded rightfully.

But that was something Victor chose to ignore. It wasn't a priority, at least not when he was getting through his withdrawals.

Withdrawals. Never had Victor in his entire life expected to go through that. Of course, he would get the occasional weed and fun stuff but he never saw himself going farther than that. It was disappointing, at least. Shameful, he wasn't supposed to get that bad, not even on the quietest nights of his life. So he managed to turn that shame into disgust, promising himself to not even dream of getting near drugs ever again. He knew it wasn't that simple, he was sure of it, but he would try his best because, in the end, that's what matters.

"I'm gonna miss it here," Victor murmured, biting his bottom lip, drumming his fingers a few times on top of the car before he sighed, taking a look around.

"We can come back here whenever," Kellin stopped beside Vic, rubbing his back a little before he was taking his time to look around too. Kellin's hand dropped beside him before he was looking at Vic, which made Victor do the same.

Victor nodded, straightening up.

"Alright. Let's go home."

Kellin nodded, placing a small kiss on top of Victor's forehead before they both got into the car.

~•°•~•°•~•°•~•°•~

Victor hadn't realised just how much he missed his brother until then. To see that fucker's face light up over how Victor looked like Victor once again when Mike had started to lose hope was the best yet saddest thing. And Mike was strong, which explained why Victor was being crushed to death, drawing quick breaths because breathing is hard when your ribcage is compressed. Victor patted Mike's arm.

"Okay, you can- can let go now," Victor struggled to breathe out, taking a huge breath once Mike let go of him. A small cough left Victor, making him wrinkle his nose.

"You seem so much better," Michael exhaled in a chuckle, grasping Victor's shoulders. Victor grinned back.

"I am, I guess," Vic nodded. Then before he could blink, his head was flung to the side and there was a light sting on his face. Did Michael really just... Fucking slapped him?