A world that divides us mha/bnha

❽.

『you can't kill what's already dead, and you can't break what's already broken.』

Day nine: explain to me.

"That's a long story." Aizawa mumbles still trying to avoid the inevitable. "I have time," Izuku presses looking down before continuing, "...way too much time." It's numbly said, as Izuku becomes very quiet towards the end. A trait that the older man has picked up on. Aizawa in turn and hums in acknowledgement before letting out a puff of air. Almost a laugh and almost a sigh. He seems to accept that there's no more putting it off. And how this kid will not let it go.

"Okay fine." He retorts in surrender. "But in return I'd like a few of my questions answered by you. Do we have a deal?" The man says with a lazy smile that doesn't quite match the look in his eyes instead it turns his expression more sinister than intended.

Izuku is more than sure the man didn't mean any harm from his answer, or the questions he inevitably has, but the look on the mans face and his words makes Izuku want to laugh and cry simultaneously. It's a face he know too well. The nothing comes for free face. He's seen that face too much recently. And the deal. Why did he have to call it that? Shigaraki said the same thing before... before.

Izuku knows his face rats out how he is feels and tells Aizawa that he accidentally said something he shouldn't have. It's clear that whatever Aizawa did say made the boy either uncomfortable, scared, nervous or some combination of the three. Izuku hates that he, most likely, upset them man. Izuku hates how too many thing remind him of times better left unspoken.

Izuku doesn't want to be the problem. He doesn't want to be the traumatised child, or the boy in need of help. Hell he doesn't even want to be dead. He hates relying on others. He hates owing people things. He hates all of this!

He almost laughs at that. Life doesn't listen to the people that serve it. Death doesn't discriminate against anyone who once lived. It will take everyone if you give it time.

It's when Aizawa's face falls slightly that Izuku knows he's making that face. He's been out of it internally pondering life and death for the past minute or so, so of course he's making that face. It's a face his mother would point out when he was alive.

Wow that's weird to say.

He can almost hear her voice laughing at how blank his face is. How his eyes hold that far off glance that he does when leaving his mind. A face his mother lightly scolded him for, she'd say he looked too scared, or rude, spacing out and he should listen to what she'd saying.

It's a nice memory that pops up. It give the boys mind a rest from his usual trauma filled nightmare. He wishes he could see his mother now. Izuku thinks he can remember her sill. Her warm smile or a far off memory of her singing while making food. Her favourite tea and how she made it on the hob. Was it green tea? Or a herbal blend? Why is he forgetting her? It hasn't even been that long? What a week? Two weeks? That's nothing so why...

He knows he must look scared as well as looking so very sceptically at the man. It's not Aizawa's fault that all izuku's trust has been stolen by humans... is izuku still classed as a human?

Whatever he is, he has far to go to be able to trust someone again. Hard to let them do something for him, without them expecting something in return. People never do something for free. They will always want something back. Always.

Maybe Aizawa isn't like that. Maybe the boy can trust him but something is holding him back and instead of breaking free, he lets whatever it is, hold him tight. It's an almost protective grasp that tries to prevent him from hurting more.