Dan, the Nothing

Warmth

I wake up to the sound of Phil snoring softly. He is facing me, with his head aligned with mine. His arm is holding me. I can feel his warmth radiating onto my body, protecting me from the cold weather outside that finds its way through cracks and vents and onto my skin. I look at Phil. He looks so serene, so peaceful, so innocent. I didn't think anyone could look like that, even in sleep. The only thing keeping him from appearing as angelic as a baby is the line of stitches across his once perfect face. That cut, soon to scar, will always be a reminder of the crash. Of what that criminal did to Phil. Of what I did to Phil.

I look down, realizing the only thing I have on is a pair of black boxer-briefs. I need to get some clothing on! I carefully lift Phil's arm off of my torso, but as soon as I do, Phil is awake. Awake, but groggy enough, for a few seconds anyway, for me to get back into a lying position and pretend to be asleep. I even out my breathing. I relax my body. "Dan...?" Phil whispers to see if I am awake. I continue my charade. He quietly gets off of my bed and sneaks away.

Once I know that he is gone, I scramble for my computer and open Phil's video. "...I found Dan, helpless on the floor. I scooped him up and ran to the nearest hospital. When I got there, all of the doctors told me I was a hero, but all I wanted was for Dan to be okay..."
I scroll through some of the comments.
"Phil, you're so brave!"
"You're a hero Phil!"
"You saved Dan's life!"

All of the fans are adoring Phil. They see me as a helpless puppy that he saved. He's a hero. I'm nothing. Phil must be so enthralled by the attention. Is that why he made the video? For attention? Does he even care about me?

I don't deserve to be alive. I should have died. There were many others who died in the accident. Why did I live? I shouldn't have. I deserve to die.