I find myself lying down on the cool bathroom floor. I'm on my right side, with my left arm draped over like a blanket. There's something wet at my side. Is that vomit? I sit up, disgusted with the reality of my situation. Did I pass out? What's happening to me? As my mind is racing with unanswered questions, I realize that someone is banging on the bathroom door. "Dan! Dan, what's going on in there? Let me in!" I quickly stand up and open the door. I don't make eye contact; my awareness of reality is gone in that moment. I am a soulless body, a walking corpse. Phil gasps with what seems like all the air he could manage into his lungs. "What on earth?!?!?" He grabs me by the side and takes me to the washtub. He helps me take my clothes off, makes the water warm, then bathes me. I might as well be an infant. Even though it it humiliating, I say nothing. I do nothing. I don't want to be here. I want to be asleep. I want to be gone.
Phil wraps me in a towel and lies me down in my bed. My bed sucks me in, with its comfy sheets and pillows. It's the only thing outside of my body that I can feel. I feel myself slipping away as Phil gently places his body next to mine.
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Dan, the Nothing
FanfictionAfter a public transport accident, Dan Howell is left with serious PTSD. Phil was his rescuer, and he is getting a lot of attention for it, while Dan sits off to the side, feeling like a helpless victim. As Dan struggles with the mental aftermath fr...
