Kindergarten Age
POV: Ryan
I sat off to the side of the playground, picking dandelions and braiding them into a sloppy crown. A warm breeze ruffled my hair and I smiled into it, welcoming the spring. The snow had melted about a week ago and the ground was muddy, but I didn't mind.
It felt nice, getting my hands dirty. Staining my clothes and skin brown while the scent of earth clung to me. These were the things that made me happiest.
Maybe it was because of how free I felt. Or maybe it was because it offered an escape from my parents fighting. Either way, just being outside and interacting with nature made me feel a strong sense of peace and calm.
I had just finished my flower crown when I heard a new voice.
"Aren't flowers for girls?"
I jumped and dropped the crown, watching as the dandelions separated and scattered on the muddy ground. Scowling, I looked up to the source of the voice.
"No! They're for anybody." I crossed my arms at the black-haired boy staring down at me. His brown eyes weren't cruel, but merely curious.
"Oh. Well I think they're ugly." He shrugged and sat down next to me, picking up the flowers I dropped.
I frowned and helped him gather them up. "I think you're ugly."
"You're mean," he said under his breath, glaring at me. I glared right back at him and snatched the dandelions out of his hand.
"Am not!" I protested as I attempted to weave my flowers back together. But by then my hands were shaking from anger and I dropped a few more dandelions. At this point I'd had enough. With a frustrated huff, I threw the flowers down and pulled my knees to my face, crying into them.
I don't know how long I sat there like that until I felt something tickle the top of my head. Slowly, I looked up to tell the boy to go away. But I stopped short when I saw the grin on his face.
Gently, I reached up and felt the top of my head. My fingers were met with the soft stems and petals of woven dandelions. A tiny smile slowly tugged at my lips as I lifted the crown off my head to get a better look at it.
It was sloppy for sure, and many of the petals were torn off. But it was unmistakably a crown, just like I had wanted in the beginning.
"Thank you," I mumbled quietly as I placed the crown back on my head. A light blush had begun to color my cheeks. I usually kept to myself so I never really had any friends before. If I could even call this boy a friend.
"Sure! I'm Brendon. Sorry for making you sad." He offered a genuine smile, and I gladly returned it. Sure we had started off a little rough, but maybe it seemed that the boy meant well.
"I'm Ryan. And I don't think you're ugly." I smiled shyly and looked down, tracing my fingers through the mud.
"I know! Mommy says I'm really handsome!" He grinned and started rambling about how his mother adored him. But I spaced out as I felt something wriggling in the mud.
With a tiny giggle, I pulled an earthworm out of the upturned earth and tossed it at Brendon's face.
He gasped and screamed before jumping up and running over to the swings. I watched as he ran around and waved his arms about, trying to get the worm off him- even though it had already fallen.
I never really played with the other kids at recess. Maybe that's why I didn't have friends. Maybe that's why I was so lonely. But I was sick and tired of being alone. So I jumped up and raced after Brendon, grinning.
"Come back here! Mr. Worm still wants kisses!" I giggled happily and chased Brendon between the swings, narrowly avoiding being kicked by another kid.
"Noo! Keep it away from me!" He screeched and ran even faster, his legs moving a mile a minute.
The chase went on for another five minutes before our teachers called us back inside. As the other students started rushing back to the building, I paused and looked at Brendon regretfully.
"Well I guess we gotta say bye now," I said quietly since I knew he was one grade below me.
"Yeah... But we can still play together tomorrow!" He smiled and before I knew it, he pulled me into a tight hug. I blushed yet again and hugged him back, feeling myself melt into his embrace. It felt really nice. It reminded me of better times I'd experienced before my parents started fighting so much. It was late night movies spent cuddling with loved ones, it was hot chocolate in the freezing winter, it was fireworks on a hot summer night. And it was over all too soon.
I watched regretfully as Brendon races inside. He paused before he went through the door, turning around to wave at me one more time. "See ya tomorrow Ry!" And with that, he disappeared back into the school.
I stood there for a little while longer, a warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach. I didn't move until my teacher called my name. As I walked back to class, I couldn't help but genuinely smile for the first time in a long time.
I really liked Brendon.
*10 years later*
Brendon and I were relaxing at his house as usual. We never went to mine ever since my mom died. My dad wasn't the greatest parent...
Anyway, Brendon looked conflicted and his lips were pursed. It was the face he made whenever he was in deep thought about something.
I leaned toward him curiously, tilting my head. "What's up Bren?"
"The sky," he said with a smirk, snapping out of his trance and looking over at me. I rolled my eyes and scoffed.
"Oh how original." I turned to grab my phone since Brendon was being boring again. At the same time, I saw him make a quick movement from the corner of my eye. When I turned to give him a curious look, I saw a dandelion crown in his hand.
Before I could say a word, he began talking. "Listen, I get if this is weird because we're... straight I guess? But whenever I think about going to homecoming with someone, it's always you. So uh, would you go with me? I mean, you don't have to say yes... But it's better if you do."
I stared at him for awhile, my heart beating faster. And even though I was freaking out, I remarkably started laughing. "Are you asking me to homecoming?"
His face got red and his shoulders slumped slightly. "I dunno. Yeah, I guess I am."
I smiled and leaned forward, holding my breath. I was ninety nine percent sure that this was a dream. But if it was a dream, then there was no problem with a small kiss...
I kissed Brendon's cheek and watched as he blushed. "Well I'd love to go with you." And I meant it. At this point I wasn't sure what my sexuality was. But I did know that I really liked Brendon Urie. I liked him as more than a friend.
It was kinda terrifying to finally realize that. But everything made so much more sense to me now. It's why I craved his attention all the time, it's why I blushed whenever he complimented me, it's why he was in my dreams...
Okay yeah now that I think about it, it's pretty damn obvious that I like him. I don't know how it took me this long to realize it.
My thoughts were interrupted as Brendon gingerly placed the flower crown on my head. I blushed and was suddenly transported back to recess in kindergarten.
I felt the warm breeze in my hair, I smelled the overwhelmingly strong scent of fresh mud. I could feel the weak sunlight shining on the side of my face. But most of all, I felt all the love I held in my heart for my best friend. If I could even call him that anymore.
And then Brendon was leaning forward and I was transported back to now. My breath caught in my throat as I realized what he was about to do.
I leaned forward and met him halfway, our lips meeting in a gentle kiss. It only lasted a moment, but that was all I needed to start giggling like an idiot.
Brendon soon joined me and grinned happily. "I really love you Ry."
I bit my lip and gazed at him, feeling my heart flutter at his words.
"And I love you, Bren."
