Invader Zim Oneshot

Paranormal Shenanigans

"DIB! RUN!!"

Dib's head perked up in a flash as he heard Zim's voice yell out for him. Dib instantly got up to his feet (He was trying to examine paranormal evidence) and ran as fast as he could down the woods. This was all happening so fast. He could hear the stampede of vampire wolves rumble behind him as his heart raced into a panic. He almost slipped a few times through the woods, where the branches and logs were mostly bunched up together but he was able to keep his balance. He could see Zim just ahead in an open field, opening up the voot's windshield as he sat in the control panel. The way they were able to communicate was because they both had earbuds that worked like walki talkies, but now that they were only a hundred meters away from each other, Zim couldn't help but jump up from his chair and call out to Dib.

Zim: "HURRY UP DIB, THEY'RE GAINING ON YOU!!"

Dib, of course, screamed out of fear of Zim's words and sprinted out of the woods and into the field. The vampire wolves howled as their entire pack started spilling out of the woods after Dib. Their teeth full of slobber and red eyes full of hostility, It's no wonder Dib was horrified and rushing into the voot's open windshield.

Dib: "LIFT ME UP ZIM! C'MON HUR- aCK!"

The alien rapidly ejected out their spider legs and crawled down to where Dib was, to then just toss him hastily into the voot. Zim hopped back into the voot with ease using his pak legs and slammed a large magenta button as it made the windshield dissolve into place in a hexagon pattern across their faces. Both Dib and Zim shrieked as the vampire wolves slammed into the voot. Luckily, the windshield had closed in time, but that didn't stop the wolves from attempting to climb it and scratching at the windshield as they held on.

Dib: "ZIM- DRIVE THE VOOT- DRIVE THE VOOT!"

Zim proceeded to slam Dib's massive head into the control panel (Which wasn't even necessary) which made the steering levers and buttons reveal themselves. The alien cranked and clicked buttons at the speed of lightning as the voot began to rise up into the sky at a sickenly fast pace. Dib held his bleeding nose from the pain of being smashed onto the controls panels, and then held his mouth as he felt himself baby puke in it.

Zim: "F-FIIIIILTHY- EARTH MONSTERS! GET OFF OF ZIM'S VOOT! ZIM COMMANDS IT!"

Zim attempted to kick the remaining vampire wolves onto the ground as he clicked a few buttons to activate the windshieled wipers, but became impatient by the inefficiency. The alien decided it was best to activate the ship's weaponry and quickly shoot lasers into the cryptid's bodies and faces.

Both Dib and Zim watched as the lasers on the side of the voot slid out and aimed for the vampire wolves. The red laser stablized onto the targets before shooting perfectly into their sides or even faces which caused blood to splatter onto the voot shield. That was the con of pulling out the lasers, the good thing was that their lifeless bodies were now able to drop dead onto the face of the earth. The alien and human felt themselves panting in fear and relief that they had been able to escape such a tragic fate. The rush of adrenaline remained as they were able to hear the vampire wolves down below in both the field and woods. They were all aggresively growling down below like maniacs and desperate for a meal. Thank god their next meal wasn't going to be Zim or Dib.

The voot was oddly silent after such a savage attack, and the only thing that could be heard was the ship's engine rumbling as the ship began to navigate through the sky.

Zim leaned again the dashboard tiredly and sighed in visible annoyance. "Dib-human, why do you still enjoy putting your life in danger like this- literally every other weekend-?!"

The alien sounded furious and frustrated as he glared at Dib, his red eyes glowing in the darkness of the voot. Dib didn't seem to be bothered by Zim's hostility. He instead shrugged sluggishly as he attemped to control his breathing. The human let out a relieving sigh as he walked towards the suddenly hostile Zim.

Zim: "W-wah- Dib what are- STOP IT!!"

Zim shoved Dib off him as Dib was about to hug Zim in a way where he was leaning all of his weight on him.

Zim: "You are all sweaty and REPULSIVE! You're pathetic attempt to "hold" Zim was a waste! Your human affection will not help you get out of this Dib-human!! Why can't you just get a normal job like- like selling those earth medicines?!"

Dib dusted himself off and chuckled to himself. "You mean selling drugs?"

Zim: YES EXACTLY! You do not NEED this excessive danger in your life, it's.." Zim proceeded to rub his palms together as he impatiently took the time to think. "bothersome, for the lack of a better word."

Dib smiled at Zim and leaned against the cruiser, tapping his finger against his chin as if he was in thought.

Dib: "Hmm..Selling drugs wouldn't make me as enough money, and wouldn't be as exciting as working for the Swollen eyeball. Just be thankful you're here to protect me, I have a feeling you would miss me if I was gone."

Zim instantly let out a booming laugh as his head tilted back in a dramatic stance. As he pulled his head back in, he continued to snicker as he wiped the joyful tears from his eyes.

Zim: "Ohh~ Dib! You are so easily fooled.. Zim cares NOT for the Dib-Stink!! I am here to spy on all the foolish things you do without Zim! If you were to, Oh I don't know, explode? I would be so relieved! Of course as long as I was the one who caused the explosion. YOU ARE TO DIE FROM NO OTHER HANDS THEN MINE!!"

Zim continued to cackle to himself as Dib just slumped onto the voot cruiser tiredly.

Dib: "Oh is that true? Then how come while I was running, you-" Dib wasn't able to finish his sentence, since he was interrupted by the noise of a mini closet slamming open.

"GUESS WHO MADE WAFFLEZ-?!"

Zim looked over with a "huh?" And instantly shrieked as the S.I.R. unit known as "Gir", rocket launched himself into Zim's face and slammed them both in the ship's wall.

Zim: blArGH! BLEUGH!! GIR! WHAT IS ALL THIS- THIS GOOEY STUFF?!

Gir: He was completely covered in the gooey liquid and lifted his metal hands up to show Zim all of the messy wafflez he was able to stack up by himself. "It's the SYRUP!! I put 3 bottles into the plate!! YUMMMY!!"

Gir took a stacked waffle from the plate he was holding and shoved it into his mouth. Dib was honestly surrpised by how it was even possible for the SIR unit to consume so much food.