nine

9 1 0
                                    

word count: 744

date written: 17.4.19

verse: canon; scene extension


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"are you sure this isn't just..." elle hesitated, unsure of how to continue without offending connie to some degree. the last thing she wanted was to sound as though she was accusing her of something but she'd been a doctor long enough to know how people reacted after trauma. she needed to know that connie was certain about this and that it wasn't just her way of coping -- of trying to regain some semblance of control regarding what had happened. "... your paranoia talking?"

connie stared at her in disbelief, wondering if she'd heard her right. "what?!" she exclaimed, her chest tightening uncomfortably. out of everyone she knew, she'd expected at least elle to believe her. the possibility that she wouldn't hadn't even crossed connie's mind. not that it had had any reason to. elle had always tried to look out for her, even when she actively made it all but impossible for her to do so. elle shifted uncomfortably where she stood, twisting her fingers nervously.

"well it's just..." she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. conversations like this were never easy and even worse with connie. she was volatile and hotheaded and loathed it when people questioned her. unfortunately, elle did that quite a lot. "you said yourself that you don't remember what happened or who attacked you so how would you even know it's him?" connie frowned, folding her arms, and elle watched worriedly as she began pacing slightly behind her desk, clearly agitated. "maybe you just want it to be so you can have some sort of closure."

she knew the identity of connie's attacker was still plaguing her even now, months after the fact, and apparently more than she'd been letting on. she was under the impression that knowing would finally put her mind at ease and allow her to move on but elle wasn't so sure it would have the desired effect. "no, it was him," connie insisted after a quiet moment, turning back to her as she came to a standstill. "elle, i know it was." her eyes were wide and filled with far more emotion than usual, almost pleading with elle to believe her. "he's the one who attacked me." she scowled impatiently at the floor. she wasn't being paranoid, not this time at least. she knew it was him -- everything made too much sense for it not to be.

"hey, it's okay," elle reassured her gently, rounding the edge of the desk to join her on the other side. "i believe you." connie's arms were no longer crossed now, wrapped tightly around her waist instead. elle had long since come to recognize it as the stance she made when she felt especially vulnerable, almost as though she was trying to hold herself together and stop anyone from realizing that something was wrong. elle had seen through it a long time ago, however. she'd been able to read connie like a book from the day they'd met and now wasn't any different. "look, why don't i join you in resus? keep an eye on him."

connie leaned back against the edge of her desk, suddenly feeling even smaller than usual next to elle. "i don't need protecting, elle," she reminded her quietly. it was self-preservation at its finest, an unfortunate vice she'd tried to shake to no avail. in truth, all she really wanted was for elle to protect her from this mess. she knew far too well that having nobody in your corner was lonely as all hell and made fighting any battle ten times harder than could possibly be worth it. with elle around, she'd at least come to learn that didn't have to be the case.

"i know," elle said, voice soft. she knew it was a lie. it always was. connie liked to trick the world into thinking she was invincible because it was the only way she could make herself believe it too. this was just another one of her walls, thrown up hastily in a last ditch effort to save face. "but if it really is him, i want to make sure he doesn't try anything."

"fine," connie relented with a sigh, pushing away from her desk and turning to settle elle with a withering look that was more playful than genuine. although she would never say it aloud, she felt far safer going back in there knowing elle would be nearby the entire time. "i suppose you can assist." 

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