Mafia's Art.

Part 25 - He ignored me.

I would lie if I say that living here now. Was pure torture. After coming from our lovely honeymoon or so I thought. My first experience in everything - I feel so confused and hurtful. But that is what I signed for, I did not realize that being in love would hurt so bad - but I should be happy my family is still under his protection. There has been a paper out of him talking with a woman and a few more where they when into a hotel, and feeling betrayal would be an understatement. But I don't know how to deal with this. What should I do? I think I love him. And, if he wants to let mego. I would go and leave. Under one condition my family to be protected. Otherwise, I will know this, I will never survive. 

I could face the reality. Nor could I understand it. Al my life. I have been good, I believe I did well. Why? I truly want to know why. If he was not happy with me he could have just told me. I mean, it would still hurt but not like this, I could eat or do anything. I just won't stay in my room and not live anymore. 

As I stare outside my bedroom window I heard it. His voice. But what shocked me was the women he had on his side. I would lie if I say I was prepared for it because I was not. I was sitting there I did not even realize he looked up and my heart was glittering with tears. And, my heart was so still and my body when into a slump, I wanted to act brave but I could not and cannot. 

I know it is my own fault my father warn me but I big enough to fight my own battles or that is what I thought. We made woves, I meant mine. I meant all of it. As slowly turning around and walking away. Back into the bathroom washing my face I could not stop the heavy breathing, my tears, and close-down breakdown. I could not ignore my knees dropping under me and feeling so hurt that after the three weeks, such two weeks after our, wait for my experience with him I thought... I thought there would have been a slim chance of having him. But I was not so. What should I do? He protects my family. Since everyone by nows knows he married me. As stands up. just preparing myself for further humiliation. I know this feeling of emptiness. Of this pain. As the move away - started to feel a bit light-weighted, My head is turning. But quickly make to my bed and throw myself on it and just closing my eyes for this feeling to going away. Just as I close my eyes. I knock comes to my door. 

I need to answer it. This is my choice I should at least pretend to be brave. I should stay even if it hurts. It was from Jack. But I could not bring myself to be cheerful but gave him a small smile. As he stepped in the first he mentions is my looks. Which is funny, because who would care how they look if their husband is having an affair and so early. Who would worry about anything? As try my best to keep myself steady I could. Because the reality is too much. I when to my bed. And ask Jack why he is here. But his face change, like he is sorry for me ad knew it all along. 

"Uhm, Bella  --- sorry I should have been so incentive towards how you feel, please, forgive me - Uhm, Caleb told me to tell you that you should be ready by 18: 00 yous will have a meeting" Once that words left his mouth I knew it is over for me. I could not believe my ears, it is here. He is leaving, I mean ho would not I have nothing to offer, o alliance no help, I could not keep my composure I e=immdeately turn around and shake as a cried. As slowly walks to my bathroom closing the door not worrying if he is there or anyone... I am just so hurt. At least I paid him for saving my family. I should not feel so down. Jack did not say anything... what can he do? Have I throw up my already empty stomach it is weird that I am not in the hospital yet. I should get myself ready. I don't want him to see I am broken even if he knows he broked me. I won't allow any more humiliation. I won't. 

As slowly standing up from the bath floor. I turn on the water and made myself a nice bath and put on some candles and finally mediated. Asking almighty to help and strengthen me through this difficult situation. Once I step out it was already 17: 15. How time flies. As long black/brownish hair flows down till my bum. I dry it off and myself. I only put on lotion and a jean skirt with a light blue skirt and some sandals nothing fancy. Why should I? 

When I was done, I felt more confident. More reassured. As I looked in the mirror. I turn the ring and realize that even if he breaks my heart. I would still love him, everyone makes their choice. and unfortunately, I won't be able to move on from him. If this is my ending if this what I get. I would still be happy because my family is happy I experience my first love with all even if it just me that is fine. 

A knock drives me away from the mirror. As I step out it is his bodyguard wonder why Jack did not come. As I step, my fear wanted to make it self known but I kept my composure, it seems like everyone knew apart from me, that I was all along only a chest play a part in his plan and he won. and to kill his enemy. As I approach his door. The bodyguard knocks before allowing me to step in. I smile and say thank you I hoped he heard me. As a step closer, I could hear my heart beating and beating. And the body is shaking. I blow one breath...

And I try to give my best smile. 

'Uhm... Hi... I am here" I don't why I said it but I made myself even weirder that is why he probably ignore me. The room was filled with him and the lady in the photo and I think he doesn't think I know, he looks so beautiful. My heart and eyes wanted to betray me but I kept it together. 

Jack comes closer and shows me where to sit. As my shaking legs carry me, I knew I am too late it is already late for me at all. 

Jack spoke up first trying to break the ice but it was too thick and the room felt heavy. 

Then he spoke. It immediately gave me chills. That made me realize. that I cannot I would die if he leaves me. Before he could finish his sentence: I did not allow it. Because I embarrassed myself even more. I begged him.