Mafia's Art.

Part 12: What should I do?

Bella:

Standing and watching each other in the rain was all movie-like. But a feeling that can describe a thousand of emotions. "What is this?" Am I falling in love with him. And if it IS SO  then what should I do? Cause, he is beautiful.And not someone who would notice me but more importantly someone way out of my reach and totally different on human relation. If angels .... this ... all him goes against in what I believe in. Impeccable, the rain saved me this time - for no-one to notice this confuse and sad girl. Standing outside in the rain wasn't bothering at all, it was actually cleansing me in a way - in my sense cleaning me from all the thoughts and worries even if it just for a moment... at least it does the job - 

Hearing him speak. Quickly shifting my head up and a hellish surprise to see him - a big surprise and this emotion, this emotion of actually being relieve and happy to see him, what is.. what is this? This is definitely crazy. WHAT IS HAPPENING? I just stand there and stare... and I just let the rain wash my tears and my uncertain emotions away if it is possible. Over this flesh. Over this thick skin of mine. Over this battling of emotions. 

"Uhh I'm so..rry, I didn't mean too" He just shake his head and smirked. While extending his hand towards me and me... yes me, being gullible sticking out my quaking hand to him. While he drag me back towards HIS car. And I let it happen... friends picture this. I wanted to be away, run away, try to run away from him - this unspeakable monster, beautiful monster but now voluntarily running back to him like I'm desperate, his 'second skin'? OMG, what is this... maybe some sick spell. Not even paying attention to my surrounding being to caught up with this useless and foggy thoughts. 

"You know I would thought you would have cursed me away by now but now you sitting in my car, how come?" a smirk playing along his face, his black thick curly hair laid back - make look more manly and beautiful making it difficult to look away - 

Before I answer him one though stood up. "Judging people was not a trait of mine I believe or thought so and would never be - but... but... with you I did ... it almost eat me up , trying to figure out what and who you are... and why you did what you did.. to..to.. my family - but AFTER you told me - It..it wasn't you - i felt ashamed and the even more relaxed to be around you and not ashamed of you but of myself - of actually saying I am good but I am just as bad as any other person whose crime is a different than mine and held up by people opinions/judgments ... I am actually very thankful you told me the truth - i felt like I can finally breath - breath - breath- and now yes, I am sitting in your car, in which I am very confuse but so relaxed about" 

Stopping my rambling and finally take the courage to see his reaction and face... 

I looked up and saw him looking at me already and me reciprocate his behavior. Not being afraid nor letting this useless thought consuming me but just knock all fear away and stare at the man who confess that he is innocent of my own speculation.

After a few seconds he broke off the stare in the end I was happy about it and most likely content with it since all this 'new' emotions is kinda fearful and it is not that I didn't loved someone before - I did actually we talked for 7-8 months and well we, us girls we tend to fall in love and yep I did, I fall in love with him... I thought I need him - when actually I was the one blindly in love and well on the end I got hurt with he dating someone else while we promise we will wait for each other after I can completely help my parents and my family, but I guess 5 years has been passed. And I am still single in which I do not complain. 

I am happy with who I am. For now, am I not happy but also not fearful. However, I still need to worry about how to find my little brother and sisters and tracking down the person who killed my parents Yes, many might think I am over it - no I am NOT. But I am so tired of crying.  Tired of thinking but giving up? Not gonna happen. I...

"Well, a great very interesting speech and to put in a 5c do I think you way MORE good then what I though but aside that do I think for now can we just work together, to actually find the person who killed you father your parents - obviously there is no police and things, it is underground things - so I will be doing the law and protection , please don't interfere - I am doing this just to clear my name and to actually pay respect to your old man even if he did owe me - for actually making a fine a** job maintaining such good children, and also find your little brother and sisters, don't worry you hands won't be full of blood as mine would be at the end of our hunting". 

"So what do you say, Isabella, in for it?" 

I could only respond with a head nod and a very jumping heart. While he is starting his car I finally realist he turned around for me, not that I would favor him more but what he did right now- placed my heart jump on another level. What is this? O, screams in my head... I need to explode I need to scream. 

I just need a break from this.. whatever it is. In addition, he is freaking helping me and wait... pf-ft he is saying I am GOOD person. Yes, he did that. I think a heart attack would happen as of this instance but my heart still want to live to endure such weird and strong 'feeling'. Beside, from totally agreeing one moment and the other moment not, is such a marathon. Looking around me, seeing us stopping in front the fancy hotel - While he climbed out and told me to step out too. For second I though he change his mind but he was actually cool to evaporate that he wants me to step out so that we can get in a warmer environment and the fact that we both wet and drench with water. Consequently, I great big bubble bath won't hurt, and a nice warm hot chocolate and fussy big bed. AND lost of planning how we will tackle this issue of mine. 

If he obviously say I can, then I will just do it till all my fear, confuse and pain wash away.