Ruthless

Prologue

"Mama?" A familiar word that sparks feelings of security and love. A word full of fear. Fear of forever loosing these soft feelings. And a promise. A promise that that will never happen. My Mama is beautiful. She's strong and protects me. My Mama is the loveliest and best mom. I trust her. I love her. When I was born, I had three brothers. They were twenty years older than me. Each was special in their own respect. Me too. But in a bad way.

I want to curl up into a ball. I want to protect my head. I want to scream. I'm scared. I want to live. I want to survive. I can feel the kicks on my back. I feel pain in my forearms. My legs. I can taste blood and feel saliva burning in the wound of my cut lip. Feel the throbbing pain in my head. I hear my breath and feel the damp heat on my face. "Go away. Go away. Go away..." I keep laying down. Nobody approaches, but I know that they're watching from a distance. But this is fine. Is fine as long as it's only my brother, not HIM...

"Mama." Her green eyes glisten with concern. "You're covered in wounds again... He's too strict with you!" I lower my head. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mama. I'm sorry that I'm only this much. I'm sorry that I'm not better than this. I'm sorry that I disappointed you again. "Smile for me." I try; however, when I glance up at her she's not even looking at me, but at my brothers outside her window. Hastily I lower my gaze. "Come here." She gestures for me to approach and carefully starts stroking my head. "You're pretty, just like your father."

I want to vanish. It hurts. It hurts so much. I'm scared. I want to flee. I can't do this anymore. I can't. It hurts. Let me go. Where? Where can I go? Who can I rely on? Who's there for me? What am I supposed to do now? I don't want to be alive anymore. I don't. I don't want to suffer anymore. I want to be dead. I want to be like the lake. Calm and apathetic. I want to be like the rain that washes everything away. Cleans away the dirt an dust. I want to be like water, that drops onto the hot soil and evaporates. I want to be like the fog, that flees the warth of the light. Let me go.

You're at a clearing. It's a sunny afternoon. Can you see the forest? The deep green? Can you imagine that it's terrifying? The green? The green that's way darker than your mothers. The green that seems endless. It swallows you like a deep pond and quietly buries you under the slimy algae. It drags you down into its depths and seems to easily squish you under its cold heaviness. It takes your breath away.

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Hi, this is the author!

I hope you continue reading, as this story is quite dear to me.

English is my second language, so please excuse any grammatical and lexical errors.
(￣^￣)

WARNING!
There's a lot of suffering in this story, no fluff, so if you can't handle it, please leave.
I don't mean to offend anyone, this is fiction and meant for entertainment purposes only.