Nick Amaro (Law and Order SVU) AU

Chapter 9

"Okay, out with it." Nick blinked unsure of what you meant.

"You've been sneaking looks at me for the last hour. Either you got dosed with a love potion or I'm having a really bad hair day." Amanda snickered from her desk. "Busted." she mouthed.

"Alright Rollins." he threw a rolled up piece of paper her way, turning back to you.

"So, you care to tell me what's on your mind?" He looked a bit reluctant, or maybe unsure of what to say. He leaned over his desk. "It's just, I'm still really trying to wrap my head around this whole thing. How does an explosion give you, well you know."

Ah, so that was it. You were glad he felt comfortable to ask such questions. It was still a bit difficult to believe how well your team took the news. That being said, you weren't exactly in an environment where you could discuss the topic freely.

"Nick I promise I'll give you the full download, just maybe not here." you gestured around the precinct. "Okay, guess I'll see you tonight then. Chinese, I'm buying. " you smiled.

"Sure." you agreed. Guess you had something to look forward to tonight.

You were so caught up in your little moment with Nick that you didn't catch the knowing looks Amanda and Carisi sent each other.

~~~~

"You know, when you said Chinese, I kinda thought we would be crashing at your place." you laughed walking through the door. Nick was behind you, closing the door as he entered.

"That was the plan but I didn't think we'd be back so late. Your place is a lot closer anyway." That was true. You bent over to take off your boots. When you were free of them you pulled off your jacket, hooking it on the rack by the door. You rolled your shoulders with a sigh.

Your most recent case was a sad one. But that was expected. Most of them usually were. Nick was watching you from across the room. You dropped to the couch, letting out a calming breath. Sometimes you just needed the solace your home provided. It helped. Your home was the one place you didn't have to worry about staying in control. It took more out of you sometimes to let the criminals you apprehended get away. Like most cases, not all of them ended on a good note. There was more than one occasion where the perp was let go. Olivia told you about William Lewis. You weren't sure how she dealt with him. Especially after what he did to her, how many times he'd escape before he actually died. And that was only because he killed himself.

This job brought out the most horrible parts of people. It really did scare you sometimes.

Two strong hands rested on your shoulder. You looked over. Nick was standing behind you. He walked around sitting down right next to you. You were about to question him, but he placed his hand back on your shoulders and guided your back to face him. "Nick you really don't have to-"

"Just sit back and enjoy it." So you did. You folded your legs on the couch, and Nick started massaging your shoulders. Despite your reluctance at the beginning, it felt amazing. His hands were like magic. He kneaded his hand into your flesh softly. "Wow...you should quit being a cop, I think you're in the wrong profession.." you muttered. Your head lolls forward, eyes closing. He laughed at your comment, hands smoothing over your skin, continuing his ministrations. "When is the food coming?" you mumbled.

"A few minutes." he answered. His hands were moving up to the back of your neck, and back down. Everywhere his fingers touched, you could feel yourself slowly slipping a little more. "I know it gets tough (Y/N). It pisses me off, but we don't always get the bad guy. " 

He must have seen how much the case had taken out of you. No wonder he offered to massage you. Nick really was a hell of a partner. You knew there wasn't always a happy ending. You'd been a cop for too long to think any different. You just needed to have faith. What you did was making a difference, no matter how many scumbags got away. You were saving lives. That's all the reassurance you needed.