BLUE HOUR(TXT ONESHOTS)

9:08 PM | YEONBIN

Trigger warning: Depressive thoughts, distorted mentality and self harm is a part of the story. If ever it triggers or disturbs your mental peace, please stop reading.

My thoughts are killing me lately and writing is the only outlet I have. So please bare with me having sensitive or depressive topics. I just want to be free with this feeling of anxiousness. If ever you feel the same, please divert yourself and find an outlet. Your life is precious and you are worth it. If you find it hard to speak up, you can message me in this acc and I would love to hear you out. I love you all.

9:08 PM

Pressing his hands on the wall while his tears are constantly streaming down. He tried so hard to console his own grief while he lowered his ears until it reached the wall, he positioned his head between his arms.

"Soobin.", he cried out.

He looked at his right, to where he placed his suicide note before crying out loud, surrendering on his knees, falling on the floor with his palms on his face.

Yeonjun can't remember when did this misery started. He just figured out later on that he is enjoying his own company for talking about how he feels towards others is a trap and is a bait that calls judgment.

"Silence is distracting that I never thought I would enjoy it."

He whispered, looking at the picture beside his suicide note. It is him and Soobin in one frame where the both of them are wearing a smile before him knowing he was faking his.

Living with his best friend saved him from his thoughts that are slowly consuming his sanity.

"I remembered all the ways you fixed me, how will you fix me now? I need him but who needs someone like me?"

He's broke, like a fragile glass that's slowly cracking into pieces. A porcelain, that's how Soobin treated him though he is wondering how a fiasco could be kept in such precious ways. Self harm, abuse and over thinking are his own kind of self destruction.

"I'm used to starting the flame burning up, but I never thought how I will be wanting to end it all, including my life."

The tools for his final harm are present in this quiet room. He never felt fulfilled until he noticed there's an easy way to stop all the pain. STOP BREATHING.

"Yeonjun hyung!"

The other one, on the next room exclaimed his despair.

"I miss the way that you saw me, or maybe the way I saw myself. I miss the days where I was wanted, I was called, I was needed. I miss the pressure of helping someone coz helping myself suddenly becomes the issue now. I hate feeling I am worthless."

Soobin, on the other hand is on his first trial to end the feeling of being neglected coz he used to be getting a lot of attention before. Suddenly, lights went dim and he noticed he wasn't shining anymore like how he used to being someone's guide and twilight back then.

"In every crossroads, I always had the dilemma of choosing you, which is a suffer over choosing my happiness. And now your ambience shut down all my hopes."

As what Yeonjun did, he also kept a suicide note on his bed for he still wants Yeonjun to keep going, though he has no reason to do so. He checked on the clock that's ticking and how it defines how much time is left for his borrowed seconds.

"9:08 pm.", he whispered.

"9:08 pm." Yeonjun said on the other room before turning his phone off.

The other chose violence and the other went in peace. Tons of blood are rushing out of Yeonjun's body as he cut his wrist deeper. The pain is a lot easier to bare than the emptiness he is feeling. He crawled and went to his suicide note to seal his letter with a signature of his own blood.

He even let go of a whimper before saying
"Good night Soobin. I love you."

Soobin's aggressive cough surrounded his spacious room that is now feeling a lot crowded as the rope in his neck tries to suck away all the oxygen he is breathing. His body's a lot heavier now and he feels he is going away too soon that he whispered in his last seconds.

"Good night Yeonjun hyung. I love you."