Mr. Avidan?

01

"So what caused you to come here today Mr. Avidan?"

Dan Avidan sat in a leather chair facing a woman with a calm and collected smile on her face. The energy in the room was very welcoming but that didn't calm Dan's nerves at all. He briefly glanced around at anything in the room that wasn't her, avoiding the question that he knew he had to answer.

He shifted around in the chair, trying to get as comfortable as he could be in ripped black skinny jeans complimented by a soft, baby blue sweater and black high top converse. No matter what he did, he seemed to be sinking further and further into the chair that matched his hair, pants, and shoes, so he eventually gave up.

Eventually his eyes fell upon the woman, and then his shoes. Going back between the two, he could feel himself start to sweat a little bit.

She had long brown hair that was pulled up into a bun that seemed to say that she was a very formal lady and that she knows what she's doing. Seeing the state of the room, he could tell that she's a very organized woman. She was wearing a very casual brown pantsuit, if that's even possible. He brown heels complimented her outfit as she had her legs crossed and her body facing him, signaling that she has his full attention.

There were a few hanging baskets dangling from the ceiling that Dan could see ferns spilling out of the top and a few smaller plants sitting on the brown, wooden bookshelf to his left. Plants that Dan couldn't recognize that reached about half way up the wall sat in the four corners of the room.

His anxious eyes met with her inviting ones, waiting patiently for his response, as that we her job.

Dan let a shaky breath pass his lips and held it there, something that he's gotten used to doing lately. He let the air inside his lungs as he started to anxiously mess with his feet.

"I'm in love with my best friend, who is a married man."

Her eyes widened the slightest bit, but not enough for Dan to notice.

"Okay, I see we're getting right to the point. Before we go any further, I want you to know that attraction is completely natural, and there is no exception when it comes to attraction to the same sex and/or the same gender. What's his name?"

"Arin Hanson. That's his name."

Dan hasn't seen this therapist in over two years. He used to see her weekly but something caused him to cancel all of his appointments and he never rescheduled them.

Dan is currently 29 years old and Arin is 21 years old. Arin started Game Grumps when he was was 16 and Dan joined when he was 25.

"If I remember properly, you've brought him up many times when we had regular sessions. From what I gathered he has had a huge impact on your life, no?"

"He," Dan started, but he couldn't get the words out of his throat. Is brain was swarming with thought of his feelings toward the younger man and his brain was working so much faster than his mouth that he could barely piece together stings of words together to form a proper sentence.

He cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes on a very small speck of dirt on the very white and clean carpet before attempting to speak again.

"He's, he's done a lot more than impact my life. He's done so much, that he's changed my life. I honestly know for a fact that if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here right now sitting in front of you like this. And believe me, I feel so, so selfish saying that right now. I have so many friends and family that care and love me deeply, that it makes me feel terrible that one man is the reason why I'm still here to this day."

Dan didn't dare move his eyes from that spot on the shimmering, white, carpeted floor, as he was afraid that if he did, then he would begin to cry.