How it all started... But in High School

I Hate Secrets

It had been about a month since I made my decision to go to Yale next fall. It's March now. Percy still doesn't know and I don't know how to tell him. Don't get me wrong, I tried telling him. So many times. But every time I tried bringing it up, I either got cut off or something interrupted us. 

This past month wasn't fun for me, much less anyone else. We were still grieving over Jason's death and I didn't want to make it worse. But having to keep that secret was eating me up inside. 

I couldn't tell whether I was making the right decision by leaving everything behind and starting fresh early. My mom wanted to take me to see the campus several times. Each time I refused to go. I wanted to hold onto this part of my life for as long as I could.

We were all in front of the school for the first time in a while. It was strange to be there without Jason. To be there without him staring at people coldly because he just couldn't see without his glasses and was actually squinting. To be there with us knowing he wasn't in California with Piper. Just being there without knowing he was alive felt weird.

We all had our work mailed to us. We all did it except for Nico. Maybe Will did it for him. But Nico didn't want to do the work. He didn't really care and he was busy grieving. Will was worried about him and it hurt everyone knowing we couldn't talk to him without being pushed away.

The teachers pitied us even though we didn't want their pity. The other students avoided us as if we had some sort of disease. Some students said they were sorry for our loss. It didn't feel genuine, but all we could do was nod.

We didn't really talk to each other at school. The wound was too fresh. I started thinking I had some sort of contagious bad luck. Every time someone was close to me something happened to them. Thalia lost her brother. Luke, Silena, Beckendorf, and now Jason all died. Everyone around me was miserable and all I could think about was when it would catch up to Percy.

Maybe I was meant to be alone. I didn't want to think that, but the universe had an odd way of showing the opposite. I had gone to Percy's house everyday and I was nervous something would happen to him or Sally. To Estelle or Paul. I pushed those thoughts away and tried to think about anything else.

I thought about everyone else. Nico's development. The incredible bond Hazel and Frank had. The way Leo and Calypso always made each other feel better. The way Will cared for Nico. I was happy for all of their relationships.

I suddenly remembered the truth about Thalia's life. She had been on the run for a few years. She had gotten hit by a car and plunged into a long coma. After she woke up she returned to school because of her father. She had thought Jason died in the car accident with his mom. Turns out he was kidnapped and raised like a child soldier by a woman named Lupa, until his father found him on a business trip.

It was all very dark and I had understood why she wanted to keep it all a secret. I didn't judge her for it. But I also didn't tell her I found out about it all. I thought it would be best not to do anything while she was still grieving.

Piper surprised me the most. She had moved on a few days ago. Apparently she had come to terms with it and at first it made sense. Until she told me she was dating someone else. I didn't say anything because it wasn't my place to ask why or how she had moved on so quickly.

It was now May. It's been two months and I have less than two months to tell Percy everything. To tell the others everything. I don't know how they'll react. I had gone to see the campus and I guess it was nice. But I couldn't imagine studying there for four years, much less living there. 

Percy made it even worse by saying how excited he was for our senior year. He said he had a bunch of plans to make them all better, but I didn't have the heart to tell him I wouldn't be around. Not yet.