I spent all night with my dad in the hospital. Neither my mom or I left his side and Gleb stayed with me for most of the night with us. He had to leave this morning, though, so he could go get ready tonight. We had the show tonight and he had asked me multiple times if I wanted to drop out of the competition but I kept telling him no. My dad wanted me to continue and that's what I was going to do. For him. I made him a promise and I had to keep it.
It was now eleven in the morning and I was still laying in the same spot from last night. "Sugar plum, don't you have to go?" my dad asked.
"Yeah." I said. "But I don't wanna leave."
"Why?" he asked.
"Because I'm afraid this is the last time I'm ever gonna see you." I said as a tear fell from my eyes.
"It's not." he said. "I'll be sure to wait for you before I go. I would never go without you." I looked at him. "Go. Go get ready and you kill this dance tonight. I'll be watching on TV with your mom." I nodded and then kissed him on the cheek. "I love you sugar plum."
"I love you too." I said before getting up and walking out of the room. I made my way to the parking lot with silent tears flowing from my eyes. Gleb was picking me up because I told him to take my car to the place where the show was being held. I walked out the doors and climbed in my car that was waiting right outside.
"I'm not gonna ask if you're okay. But are you gonna be okay for tonight?" Gleb asked. I nodded. "We don't have to do this Davina. We can drop out."
I looked at him. "I can't." I said. "I made a promise."
He looked at the hospital and then back to me before grabbing my hand comfortingly. "You're gonna make him proud. I know it." he said. I nodded and then Gleb drove out of the parking lot and down the road. I didn't know if I could emotionally do this but I was going to try my hardest. My dad deserved my best and I was going to give it to him.
Gleb pulled up to the ballroom building and parked the car. We climbed out and walked into the trailer before I just sat on the couch. There was still quite a bit of time before I actually had to be ready and right now I just needed a minute. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I just stared at the floor. "I can't believe this is happening." I said softly. "It all feels like one big nightmare. And I can't wake up."
"I know." Gleb said as he sat down next to me. "I wish I could give you any advice but I don't have any to give. All I can say is that your dad knows what he wants from you and he wants you to honor it. To honor him. And I can help you with that if you let me."
I looked at him and nodded. My dad wanted a few things from me. He wanted me to continue in this competition and he wanted me to be with Gleb. Right now both seemed like impossible tasks but I was putting one foot in front of the other and doing, at least, one of them. "I spent a year away from them. A year as someone else's prisoner and I was cut off from them. I thought I'd have more time to make up for that. And now it's all going away." I said.
"Your dad doesn't care about how much time you spent with him. He only cares about how much that time meant to him." he said. He put his arm around me. "He loves you. You know that. You're his life and you always will be. Let his memory live on inside you." I laid my head on Gleb's shoulder and let another tear roll down my cheek.
******
It was show time. Gleb and I just finished getting ready and I did my best to get into the moment. I wanted this to be a great night. I wanted it to be one of the best performances I ever had. Tonight Gleb and I were number four on the schedule. We watched the first three and clapped for them. I had planted a smile on my face even though it was fake.
