Teach Me [COMPLETED✔]

20

Aspen

There wasn't more than stolen touches and heated eyes throughout the week. 

I had a feeling that when we got home, we would have done more. That Chris would let me practice more and that he'd make me come again, but that quickly vanished as Chris had gotten a call from his friend. 

His friend had wanted to hang out and Chris couldn't say no, so he had dropped me off at home with a forehead kiss. I had hoped he would be back soon, but he didn't. I didn't even see Chris until Monday afternoon as he was coming home from the hospital, his eyes lined with sleep. 

He apologized. I accepted it because I knew that he had a life and what we had was a secret. Both of us had to act as if there was nothing but a platonic relationship between us, that we were both just guardian and ward. 

It wasn't just his life that prohibited us from continuing whatever we had, but also the fact that I had classes. Each day I neared graduation, near that day I knew I had to choose. To stay or leave. To finish what I had with Chris and thank him or to- I shook my head. It was impossible, we wouldn't be anything.

That brought heartache, a brush of pain along my heart. I didn't know what that meant, if it even meant anything. There was that slap of an emotion in my guy, turning and feeling. Something that was new but big, but impossible. 

And with that, with having to complete projects and studying for exams. I was stumped with work anyways, most of my days were spent looking over books and taking notes. To manage the internet which I had found out was way easier than spending hours holed up in the public library finding what I needed. 

I did many things while Chris worked but during the days my mind would wander off to Chris. Thinking about what he was doing, if he was even thinking about me. 

I didn't know if he did think about me during the day, but I did know that he thought about me at night. I knew it because when I was barely conscious enough, I felt his lips on my forehead. Heard his rough voice wishing me a goodnight, my heart squeezing at those words. 

Sometimes I didn't want a goodnight. I wanted something else. But what I wished for was a sin. One that I was more and more wanting to commit. A sin that I wouldn't mind making if only to feel something, just a brush of affection. 

I was a few weeks away from graduating and with the help of counselors and teachers I was able to apply to several universities. Now the chances to get in were slim, not because I was stupid academically but because I had applied to them late. Usually universities took their pick around the end of the year and I was already past spring. 

It should bother me that I had absolutely no plan. But it didn't, for some reason it felt like an anchor that was allowing me to stay. I was stealing time, time that was a lie. Time that in the end wouldn't matter because all I had with Chris would end. 

I was sitting down Friday afternoon going over my notes for next weeks test when there was a knock on the door. Frowning I stood up, smoothing out my shirt as I did. I hadn't invited Penelope or Lilith over and Chris had his keys. 

And to be honest ever since they last came here, I just didn't want them near Chris. There was this protectiveness, which wasn't that but a selfishness of keeping Chris away from them. I didn't like how they looked at him, not once bit.