soulmate

Once a Year [chapter one]

Every morning, I wake up. I brush my teeth and get dressed.  Then I go back to my room to hide. All other 17 year olds are waking up, wrestling on a pair of jeans, grabbing their soulsices, and rushing out the door. Once at school, they have a normal teenage life and come back home to their families. They make it one more day closer to the Uniting Ceremony. I make it one more day that I have survived. 

                                           "Ella! Come finish your school work." Mom yells through the wall. I sigh, move my blankets to the side, and join my mother at the table. Now for a fullfilling day of solitary school work; history, biology, algebra. 4 other siblings have probably kissed their soulmates, hugged their babies, and left for work. I know the babies have their necklaces. I know they do not know how lucky they are yet. Maybe someday......

Today I can probably go outside. I might even see Felix. I let my mind drift to his black hair, and river blue eyes, his hands slowly brushing my cheek as he turns to dash out of the alley. Lest he get caught. Lest I get caught. With him. 

Wonderful, memories are, carressing your thoughts like water, cool and calm, rushing through your mind and taking you to a new era, a new day. A new time. "ELLA." A sharp rap echoes on the floor, disturbing my thoughts. "Stop daydreaming. I can't have you thinking  unaffordable thoughts." Mom's voice gives away her cool demeanor as a calm mother of a fifth child. She loves me so much, and will do anything to keep me from drifting towards fake romances and thoughts that could lead to rebellion. Romances, that, left untamed, could lead to love. Even though the only love I have ever known to her knowledge is that of my family's towards me. She doesn't know of Felix. Finally, I drag my mind to the endless piles of history before me. No friends, and only a very scared mother to keep me company. I look at the clock. It's almost four. Zayne and Carter should be coming soon. I am excited to finally see them, so I can see the babies. My nieces. Charlotte and Ruby must be with them today, since they are off. Maybe we will see Brielle too. Then it would be a total party. I miss Mary, who seems like a long lost sister with every month that goes by and we don't see her. She was the youngest, only 20 now. My best friend. She should have stayed here. "Ellie!!!!" I jump at the high pitched voice and turn around only to get tackled by a blur of blond curls and silly giggles. It's Susanne! "HI sweetness! Look how big you are," I say. And Suzy really has changed. Much taller and her little blond hair is getting so long. "I sure did miss you!" I laugh back at her and tickle her chubby legs. "Ellie stop! I'm a big girl now." Suzy points her thumbs toward herself. 

"She sure is. Very big." I look up and see Zayne walking through our red front door. "ZAYNE!!!" I squeal, almost dropping Susanne, and run into my big brother's arms, breathing in his warm leather coat. "Hi little sister." He chuckles and squeezes me and Suzy together. Now that I have my big brother, I can relax. He is my big protector, and he also smells good. 

"Where is Charlotte?" I ask as we pull away. "Just getting Juli out of the car." Zayne says. Just then, Mom walks in, and practically skips over to hug her son. "You all really should come more often," She says with a pout. "I never know if you are eating enough, or spoiling that family right." We all laugh. "Hello?" Charlotte, red hair pouring down her back and in her face, stumbles in with a screaming baby carriage. "Oh Charlotte, let me get that!" I quickly whisk the crying carrier to the kitchen table and unbuckle the snotty-nosed culprit. "There, there, Juli." I bounce her over to Charlotte for more hugs and happiness. "You really have a way with her, Ella" Charlotte says with false envy. "Come live with us, please!" We all fall silent then as Charlotte realizes what she just said. I feel my cheeks flare up, and I turn my head in embarrassment. After a moment of awkward silence, Juli begins to cry again. "What is going on here?" Dad surprises us, coming up behind mom and kissing her ear. "Sounds like you are just torturing my grandaughter, thats what." He steals Juli from me and kneels down to hug and fuss over Suzy. 

A couple of minutes later, Carter comes in the back door. "Hi family!" He says. We all go through another round of hugging, and I ask, "Is Ruby coming?" . 

"Of course! She is on her way." He says, with a mischievious look. I decide to save that question for later. Then, as if we could get any happier, Brielle arrives with Luke! "Hey guys!" They say. Luke hands mom some beautiful lillies, a present they always bring with them. He really was perfect for Brielle. And our silly family. Suzy and Juli sit on the floor and giggle, and just when I think that life is finally perfect, we hear the doorbell ring. I freeze- and glance at dad. He slowly gets up and goes to answer the door. We all exchange worried looks when all of a sudden, Mary pops out from behind the wall. I am so happy I could scream, and I do. I almost tackle her down, screaming and kissing while everyone shrieks and exclaims. "Mary! I cannot believe you're here." Carter goes to wrap Mary in a big bear hug when mom shrieks again and we all look to where she is pointing, at Mary's swollen belly. "ARE YOU PREGNANT?!?!?" I shout. Mary smiles and nods, moving her hand protectively over her belly. "Due in November." I jump up and down and laugh at everyone's surprised looks. "Adam! Get in here," Mary shouts over her shoulder. Adam struggles in, carrying a big black suitcase. "DId you guys hear the news?" He has a silly grin as he goes to kiss Mary's hand and hugs everyone around the room. "We know it is kind of early, but we thought-" He and Mary exchange cute little looks. "We thought how much more ready could we get?" Mary finished. "Yea. We have jobs and a house and food, so- " Adam shrugged. "Seemed like a good idea." He finishes. "Good idea? Adam this is great! Another baby to spoil." Dad kneels down in front of Mary's belly, "Hi sweet-" He pauses. "Boy. It's a boy." Mary says. "Sweet boy. I'm your grandpa!" I am so excited for this next week. "Wait- is that what you were hiding, Carter?" I turn around, and spot Ruby holding Carter's hand. "Ruby!!" I say. She hugs me, and her raven black hair smells like coconut. "So good to see you, love." Ruby says with a grin. 

After we have all calmed down, mom produces a big chocolate cake and we dig in. I rest my head on Zayne's chest, totally content. Suzy and Juli sleep in mom and dad's arms, and the whole room is filled with laughing and catching up. I shift, and feel Zayne's cold soulsice press against my cheek. It is now whole, as is tradition after you turn eighteen. Whenever I am asked how I am doing, I always say fine, but really, I am not. Ever since I was little enough to understand, I was told to not go outside, under any circumstances. Don't answer the phone. Don't fall in love. Never, ever, fall in love. It would be stealing someone else's soulmate and that is forbidden. It would kill both of us. It's also forbidden to have five children. Every family must have an even number of children, to keep a balance. One day, I had asked mom to go to the store. She paled, and teared up, saying that I could never go outside. That's when I realized that I was an Unknown. Unknowns are illegally born fifth children who can never live. If they are seen, they are to be killed. The thought makes me shiver, and Zayne notices. "You okay, Ella?" He says. "Yea, I just-" I can't tell him what I was thinking, because the only response I get is denial and a change of subject. "I'll be right back." I say, and force a weak smile on my face. I untangle myself and go slide the hidden door of my bedroom to the side. I flop on my bed and try to hold in the tears that threaten to leak out of my eyes. I wish I would stop overreacting to these things, like everyone says. But all I can think is what would happen if I were discovered, and that would lead to Felix. And he would be killed. 

I love him. I love him. I love him. But it is forbidden.

I don't realize that I have fallen asleep until I snap awake to hear crying. I listen closer, and see that it is Juli. I creep out of bed and upstairs to the nursery. Surprisingly, Susannah is still alseep even through Juli's ear piercing shrieks. I tiptoe over to the crib, my feet freezing cold. "Waah! Waah!" Juli cries even harder. I pick up her squirming body and cradle her in my arms. "Shhh. Shhh. Ellie's got you. " Slowly but surely, her cries become small whimpers until her body stills. She nuzzles into my shoulder and I hold her for a little bit before laying her back down. I run by hand over her red fuzzy hair and kiss her nose. Then I glance at the clock. It's three in the morning. I feel bad that I missed most of the family get together, but we always have tomorrow. 

Whack! Whack!

A sound. Startled, I dash towards it. It is coming from the back window. Edging closer, I see a rock arc across the porch and smack into the window. I chuckle, and with a burst of excitement, slip on my flipflops and quietly open the door. 

"Hello?" I whisper. A head pops up from the bush and I catch a glimpse of black hair before I am enveloped in a tight, desperate hug. Immedietly, I hug back, realizing in a second who it is. 

My Felix.