No Love Lost

chapter one

Eli's POV

For the first time in a year I saw the guy I thought I knew. Jason Perez, my old best friend. The guy I've had a crush on since my eyes landed on him the first day of middle school. I had seen him around the neighbourhood before but I was too shy to say anything. Eventually, we had some classes together. We talked more and more, and formed a little group of friends.
Sometimes he'd ask me to hang out with him at lunch and my heart would literally skip beats. I was never a sporty kid so I'd just hold his stuff while he played basketball or football with the other guys in our grade. I smiled at him whenever he'd look back at me. I couldn't help but think he was checking to see if I was still there, and that made my heart melt.

But that was middle school. We're in our senior year of high school now. Today was his first day back and he walked right past me like I was no one. I have no clue where the hell he's been for the past year.
I mean, yeah, we aren't really friends anymore but that doesn't mean I don't still care about him. Our friend group grew apart beginning of sophomore year. I went with the girls and he went with the other guys, but I never thought we'd stop talking, until one day I noticed that's exactly what happened. I did try reaching out, to see if he was okay, and got nothing. It's not like we went our separate ways on bad terms.

Before Jason disappeared near the end of sophomore year, rumours about me being gay were circulating. They've been circling since middle school but what was different this time is that they came from a "credible source." Ever since I transferred to a public middle school in the sixth grade, everyone thought I was gay because I always hung out with girls. I mean, they weren't wrong, but did I admit that? Hell no. I argued with them and told them to go fuck themselves. Now, I just let people think what they wanna think. I guess I don't really have to hide it anymore, nor do I want to.

"Hello? Earth to Eli? Are you listening?" Said Alexia, one of my best friends. She was snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I was daydreaming." I said, taking a sip of my Starbucks refresher.

"It's fine. Anyways, are you gonna come?" She asked.

"Uh.. where?" I replied.

"To Chambers' Halloween party?" She said.

I groaned, "I'd rather stay home and sleep." I responded.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good party, but when it's one of the most popular guys in school throwing the party? That just means everyone is gonna be there, and I'd rather not deal with all the seniors from this school. All their gonna do is drink til they get drunk enough to call me a fag to my face. The guys will anyway. I think they think that proves something, but I always found that to be quite suspect.

"You're coming! Alisha already flopped, that leaves me, you, and Summer. We're gonna show up fashionably late of course, so it's not like we'll be there long anyway." She explained.

"Whatever. That's what you say all the time and I always end up having to watch you guys." I said, rolling my eyes.

"I mean it this time, I'm doing that diet thing, remember?" She said.

"Mhm, we'll see. Let's go, we're gonna be late to first period." I told her.

"Ugh, I wish I was 18 already. I'd literally drop out and become a stripper." I laughed at Alexia's reply.

—

Lunch finally rolled around and I met up with the girls in front of the cafeteria. Summer was nowhere to be found, but Alexia and Alisha were there.

"Where's summer?" I asked.

"Probably swapping spit with her boyfriend." Alisha chuckled out.

"Ew, don't say it like that!" Alexia said, playfully hitting her on the arm.

"Anyways, are we eating in that hellhole or should we go to the new Wendy's down the street?" Alisha asked.

"Wendy's." we said simultaneously.

—

"Hey, did you guys see Jason back at school?" Alexia asked, as we slid into a booth at Wendy's.

"Yeah, I saw him. Why?" I asked.

"Well he's been gone for like, a year. I was talking with Cameron in bio and he said Jason got shot and that's why he's been gone." She said.

I literally chocked on my Diet Pepsi, "he got shot? How in the fuck did that even happen?" I asked. She just shrugged.

"Are you for real?" Alisha asked, and Alexia nodded.

"I never would've thought his bipolar ass would be mixed up in something like that." Alisha added.

"Neither did I, I guess." I said, pushing around my fries.

"Yeah, he was on bed rest for a while, then he went to physiotherapy. He's been doing online school the whole time." Alexia added.

"Sucks for him." I said. They both looked at me as if I was supposed to cry or something, I know I was the closest to him in our group, but I never told anyone about me crushing on him.

"Should we like, talk to him? See how he's doing?" Alisha asked.

"Wouldn't that be a little weird?" Alexia said.

"It would. We haven't talked in years. He clearly forgot about us. We should forget about him." I said.

I know I spoke harshly, but I'm trying my best to fight back the feelings I still have for him. Rekindling our friendship in any way would require me to hold back on a level I don't think I'm even close to reaching. I'm not ready for that, but if they want to talk to him, who am I to stop them?

"Anyways, are y'all doing anything after school?" Alisha asked.

"Well, I was gonna ask Eli if he wanted to go to the mall so WE can find something to wear to the Halloween party this weekend." Alexia spoke.

"I know you're not still bitter because I'm not going." Alisha said, rolling her eyes.

"I sure am, bitch!" She retorted.

"If you wanna watch my bad ass siblings while Eli and I go out then be my guest." Alisha smiled.

"Hell no! You're little brother bit me last time!" Alexia frowned.

"Me too!" I laughed.

—