Illicit Affairs

Panic in the Parking Lot

Kitty plopped down in Lara Jean's car. "Can I pick the playlist? I need something with optimism and energy if I'm gonna get through another day of sitting at the hospital. No offense to your sad indie girl songs."

She put her phone down in the cup holder and gave her sister a look. "Cord is right there." Kitty took it and plugged in her phone. "Thank you. I think I'm in the mood for some old One Direction." She scrolled on her phone before hitting a song. The music was booming. Kitty started to sing & dance along. She looked over at her sister who had just backed out of the driveway. "You know you love this song." She nudged her.

"Guess I'm not in the mood for a love song right now." She said staring straight ahead at the road.

"What does that mean? Are you seeing someone? I know you broke up with dumb ass Ryan, but are you still sad about him?"

"Not sad about Ryan." She shook her head. She hadn't even thought of his name in over a month.

"Was that the sound I heard in your room last night? Was it about a boy?"

"Kitty I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Fine." Kitty sat back and crossed her arms and glanced out the window. A ping rang out from LJ's phone. Like a gazelle, Kitty grabbed it before Lara Jean could even react. "Can you stop?" Lara Jean whined.

"Why is Peter Kavinsky texting you at 7AM?" Kitty was a mix of concern & excitement.

"I really don't want to talk about it." Lara Jean said grabbing her phone and placing it in her lap.

"Was that who was in your room last night? I knew the voice was familiar. I thought he we like engaged or something though. I mean I haven't talked to Owen for a while but I feel like I would know—"

"STOP IT!" Lara Jean bellowed and pulled the car into a random parking lot. She put the car in park and got out. She walked back and forth. The air was cool and LJ wrapped her arms around herself trying to settle down.

Kitty got out of the car and ran over to her sister. "What's going on? You are not okay right now."

"Everything is happening at once and I can't fucking do it Kitty. I'm not enough for anyone, nothing is improving, I fucked everything up. I just.... FUCK." She ran her hands through her hair. "I feel like I am about to explode and there's nothing I can do about it."

Kitty held her shoulders and held Lara Jean's gaze until her heart rate slowed. "One, two, three." She said slowly in a clam tone. "Do it with me. One. Two. Three." Lara Jean followed instructions and felt her heart rate come down. She launched into her sisters' arms and gave her a hug.

"You are so much more than enough, Lara Jean." She said rubbing her back. "Whatever is happening with—whatever is happening, you will get through it. You always have. That's why I've looked up to you for all these years."

Lara Jean pulled back, her face red and plump from the tears. "Thank you, Kitty."

"Now hand over the keys and I can drive you home or to the hospital, your choice." The youngest Covey girl put out her hands.

"Hospital." She rubbed her nose and eyes. "I just need to not look like I just had a panic attack."

"I have powder foundation in my bag, free of charge." She smiled at her sister. "And if you need to me give a shit talk to a certain person, I would also be happy to do that free of charge."

Lara Jean sat in silence with Trina in the waiting room. They only allowed so many people in Dr. C's room at once and they both agreed that Margo & Kitty needed some check-up time with their dad. Lara Jean's phone buzzed again.