Illicit Affairs

Your Mother's Fearless Heart

Lara Jean's eyes fluttered open to the BEEP-BEEP of her iPhone alarm. She reached over to shut her phone off and slowly sat up. She looked to her side. He was already gone. She pulled the covers up over her naked body and sighed.

She felt almost hung over from the rollercoaster of yesterday. Her mind was all over the place. She felt the rush of him making her body go crazy. She remembered the utter devastation of finding the picture. Her biting curiosity kept poking at her that something was off, but she was too enamored by him to care.

After they slept together last night, they laid in her bed listening to the cricket & fireflies chirp on the early fall evening. Her head was laid across his strapping chest and she traced every muscle, trying to remember them in her brain. He pet her hair and told stories about when he was a kid, something he usually didn't share. "Me and my dad would try to catch the fireflies on nights like this." he told her humming and smiling as his free hand coasted up and down her arm. "I first tried to catch them in a net but they would all escape. I would get so mad and yell that none of them wanted to be my friend." They both giggled. "Then my dad brought out this old puppet from the house. It was supposed to look like a Dalmatian or some kind of black and white dog. He told me to swing it around really fast and I was bound to get some."

LJ looked up at him with softness in her eyes. "Did you get any?"

"The whole puppet was neon. It was brighter than a glow stick. The fabric was so tightly woven none could escape the puppy's grasp. I was so excited to catch them, you could have killed the cat on that day and I would not have cared." He smiled a goofy smile that made Lara Jean weak in the knees. "I wasn't supposed to but I brought it up to my bedroom to use as a nightlight. The next morning, bugs escaped & were everywhere. All over my room, my bed, the pillows, everywhere. My mom was so pissed. I think I couldn't go get ice cream for a month."

"You were obviously trying to save the bugs." She said tapping his chest.

"Exactly. I thought bringing them in the house was the best way to take care of them. Waking up to a firefly massacre was not in the game plan for all parties involved."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Who?" he cocked his head.

"Your dad."

"Oh." He took a moment to collect his thoughts. She felt him take three deep breaths, readying himself. "Right after I got injured I saw him. He came to the hospital. We didn't really talk though. He came in, patted me on the shoulder, talked to my mom for 20 minutes and left. He didn't say he was sorry or anything. He just looked bummed. Like I let him down or something. I don't care what he thinks. He's not part of my life or whatever, but it was weird." He kissed her forehead. "But we have to talk about him."

She sighed and looked up at him. She knew the dad stuff was always lingering in the back of his mind. He used to have complete breakdowns about it when he would try to reach out the holidays or birthdays. He would get infuriated about him only reaching out when he was "supposed to" and leaving his mom abandoned for the other 360 days of the year. She rubbed her hands along his shortly trimmed beard trying to comfort him. "When did you start to grow this?"

"Maybe a year ago." He closed his eyes and felt relaxed as LJ messaged his face.

"You never could grow this before." She smiled finding one patchy spot and gently circling her finger around it.

"Dais wants me to look more rugged." He replied without thinking. "Sorry. Shit. I shouldn't- "

"It's okay." She said moving his chin down to meet her with a kiss.