Sleepless Sorrow

NIGHTMARE

Jungkook's POV

"Ugh.."

He sat up feeling disoriented. Bright. Too bright. He squinted his eyes to adjust and try to see his surroundings. Then a burst of colors invaded his vision and he figured he's in a field of flowers. Beautiful.

He sat there for a while and admired the scenery in front of him. The calmness that he hadn't felt for years, to savour it even for just a few hours. Heck, even for just a few moments. Just to really feel it. He closed his eyes once again and listened. He can hear birds chirping nearby. Some light rustles from curios animals around him. Just a few more moments, let me breathe.

He heard a familiar voice from a distant. He thought it was just his imagination but then he heard it again. He was sure it was him. It's been so long since I heard you laugh like that.

He decided to stand up and follow the sound but he regretted it immediately when he felt dizzy. He had to hold onto a tree to not fall over. His head started throbbing and his vision spinning. He put his index finger and thumb on his temple and did circular motions to lessen the pain and when he decided to open his eyes again, and he's in front of someone's house. Huh? He's not in a field anymore. No more calmne--I know this place.

He walked up to the door and held on the doorknob. He held in his breathe as he slowly opened the door. Everything was in the shade of white and gray. From the gray sofa and white walls. From the dirty carpet laid on the floor with stains of leftover pizza and some God knows what spilled there. Simple decor yet it overwhelmed him. His knuckles turning white from gripping the doorknob too tight as it was the only thing that's grounding him. Just as his legs starting to wobble, he heard the voice again. He's here.

He let his feet dragged him to where the voice is coming from. Every step feels so heavy with anticipation but he can't bring himself to run. It's like something's bound to happen. No! Not now! I'm gonna see him. I need to see him.

He was brought in front of the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked pastries and homemade cookies felt like home. He saw bowls stacked together with some doe residues stuck on them. Cookie cutters neatly in a pile and flour everywhere. Like nothing changed.

He stopped on looking around because there he is. Standing in all his glory, in front of him. Humming a tune so beautifully--everything he does is beautiful. He's still the same. His eyes that holds every stars in the sky. His smile that so bright puts the sun to shame for it can't shine half as bright. His slender fingers that traces his lips and his small hands that fits perfectly into his. His plush pink lips, soft lips and kisses him and say sweet nothings to him when they make love to each other.

I need to get to him. I need to hold him and never let him go. I--

//phone ringing//

He heard the phone ringing behind him but he couldn't find himself to care because the man infront of him is now looking directly at him. The man smiled and ran towards him. He smiled at the man too. Opening both his hand to catch him and finally able to hold him again. To feel his warmth again his body. Like old times. What?

Did he just ran past me? Am I.. dead? What's happening?

He turned around saw the man grabbing the phone with so much excitement that it made his heart clench. He used to be like that with him. Only to him. He was brought back when he heard the man talk.

"Hmm~?" he said while playing with his blonde hair and somewhat... flirtatious?

"Jeonghan hyung, I miss you." Said the guy on the other line. I miss you?

"Don't be so dramatic. We saw each other last night" He said as he rolled his eyes feigning annoyance but his fond smile and chuckle said otherwise.

"But hyungggg, I love you too much and the want to see you every second is inevitable." The guy whinned and that got Jeonghan let out a fond scoff and a soft "I love you too you big baby."

He was frozen on where he was standing. He couldn't move. Is he really hearing this? He tried to call for his name but his throat feels like sandpaper. Like he hadn't had water since forever. He couldn't hear anything but the heavy breathes he's letting out because he can't breathe. It's like the universe is mocking him because right now, Jeonghan is looking directly at him while flirting with the guy on the phone.

He tried to move but he fell weak on his knees. Block spots invaded his vision and he feels lightheaded. I need--I need to get out. He tried to reach out for Jeonghan. I--please I need-- help plea--

                                       ~•°♡°•~

"PLEASE!" He panted as he woke up from his sleep. His nightmare.

He rubbed his hands roughly on his face feeling miserable and frustrated at himself for going through that nightmare again. He just wants to rest. To let his mind relax. But he knows it's too good to be true. Too good for him to deserve it. He knows it's his fault for his departure. His messed up brain got the best of him instead of listening. They were young and in a rush, was what they said. The regret and guilt creeping inside him and eating him up like it was the predator and he was the prey.

He knows the damage of what he'd done and there's no fixing it. Hurting like this is what he deserves. He doesn't deserve to be happy. He let those words sink in his mind while he sobbed and begged the man he hurt for forgiveness over and over again that only the stars and moon could see him.

A/N:

Welcome back to me ig? Still no definite sched for updates but I'm slowly trying to get back and finishing my stories so thank you if you're still here~ I really appreciate it.