Lies #5: Sanders

Chapter 9

Roman:

By the time they made it through the door of white light, Virgil had passed out from blood loss. Roman was holding his body bridal style, too worried to even think about the small kiss they had just shared. Please, please, don't let him die. He can't die. I can't have let another person die. I can't lose another man I love.

Waking up felt extremely weird. The weight of Virgil evaporated, and Roman felt the sensation of the same hands that had pulled him into the dream letting him go, letting him soar high into the void sky. The higher Roman flew, the more his consciousness faded, until with a jerk he was wide awake in the test room. The computer was humming beside them- humming quite loudly, as if it was running hard. Logan and Patton were already awake, but Virgil's helmet was still on and his eyes were squeezed shut, his breathing faint. Roman took his hand and clutched it tightly. "Virgil, wake up," he pleaded. All thoughts of self-punishment were out the window; all that mattered right now was Virgil. Just because I like him doesn't mean he deserves to die.

Suddenly, the helmet popped off and Virgil's eyes flew open. He gasped for air, his free hand jerking to where the knife had been stuck in the dream. Patting it a few times and apparently satisfied that he wasn't injured anymore, his eyes flickered to his hand that was being held by Roman's. Their gazes met and they didn't say a word. What is he thinking right now? Does he... does he want to try and be with me? Or is he too scared?

"Oh my gosh!" Patton gasped, a smile appearing on his face as he looked at them. "Are you two a couple now?" Logan leaned forward a bit to see what Patton was talking about and he blinked a few times before nodding, "Ah, yes. It appears so. Holding hands is a romantic gesture, is it not?"

"We're not a couple!" Virgil snatched his hand away from Roman, his cheeks dusting with a tint of pink but a scowl morphing his features. "It doesn't even matter. We need to focus on getting Roman's stupid test done. Obviously, if we make it out of the test while we're still alive we won't die out here, even if we're about to die." I guess we're not together... A piece of Roman seemed to break and he berated himself internally. Of course we're not. Nobody would want to love me. I'm a monster. I've hurt too many people. I'm unforgiveable.

Wait... my test is next. With a feeling of growing alarm, Roman realized just what that meant. They're going to find out everything I've done- Patton and Virgil will, I mean. Logan probably knows every little thing about me. What will they think, though? Will they hate me for being the brother of the man who murdered their friends? Who kidnapped their loved ones? No, they couldn't find out. If Virgil knew they were related, he'd never want to speak to Roman again. He hates Remus, so he should hate me more.

Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't Roman just do his test alone? Alone! That's it! I'll convince them to let me do it by myself. And if Roman died? Well... it just meant there would be one less monster in the world. I have to convince them. But how? I'm sure they would leave me behind if they knew who I was, but that would defeat the whole purpose. Urgh, I don't know! He would just have to take a chance.

As the others got up and started heading towards the door, Roman cleared his throat and stood up straight. They all looked back at him and he could feel his throat start to choke up. I have to do this. I have to do this. He kept his head up and spoke clearly. "Guys, I think it would be better for me to do my test alone. I have no idea what it may be for sure, but I have a few ideas and... they're not good. I don't want to risk you guys dying. We almost died in Virgil's dream, and I get the feeling that mine is going to be even more dangerous. If I go by myself, I can do the test and get out before I get killed. It just makes sense. Please, let me do this alone."