The Angel Seed

Like I'm Alone With Me

Ellen had been staring at Dean the whole time. Waiting for him to say something, he sat in the living room in his Master's chair, Staring at the fireplace but there was no fire to stare at, at least in his mind there was.

She sighed again, "You have to see him. He's been waiting all this time. When you don't go and see your father, you'll only regret it more." Castiel stood in the hall, looking past Ellen in the doorway and to Dean sitting down. He was a lump in the chair this entire time. He had been for a while, thinking over things in his mind and just fighting with himself until it turned into sitting alone in a room and not speaking. He couldn't risk messing up, losing his mind or something.

Ellen raised her finger in aggravation, "At least talk to me." She muttered at him. He turned his eyes slowly to her. His eyes glanced back to Castiel standing behind her, and he turned his head right back.

"Ellen, go for break. Bring Jo with you." He mumbled. "Tell the mayor I won't be coming."

Ellen swayed her head, "You know, you've got a lot of nerve to let some one that's close to you die. You'll regret it in the end." She threatened and walked off.

Castiel watched her walk down the hall and watched Jo and her leave, Jo giving him a light wave and smile and closing the door. He looked right back to Dean, stepping into the doorway he leaned against it. "Dean?" He called quietly. Dean didn't look from the fire pit.

He pressed his lips together and glanced down to the floor, then back up. "Dean?" He called again, this time straying from the doorway and slowly making his way to Dean. He knelt down beside his knee and looked into his green eyes, he didn't say a word in order to make Dean look at him. He just did. Looking down at Castiel, Dean's eyes traced the lines and curves of Cas' face. Watching his ocean eyes shake with sadness, he placed his hands on Dean's knees and stared up.

Suddenly Castiel reached up and took Dean's face in his hand, the soft and warm feel of Castiel's hand melted into Dean's cheek and he leaned into the touch. He was touch­starved for love, or what this was called. "Dean." He opened his eyes to Cas' water­  brimmed one's.

"Don't ­­ h...ate yourself." One blink, and they fell.

He stared at what he had done. How he had been too attached to realize that he was far too connected with Castiel to back up, far too associated in his life.

"Don't hate yourself, Dean." He cried.

Dean was suppose to be the one crying for himself. He was suppose to be sad and regretting about his own life, he's the one who's suppose to feel bad and try to fix things. He turned back to that morning, when he had gone out.

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Dean stood by the doorway, silent and unmoving. He was suppose to speak up, wake him up, ­­ but he didn't. He turned for the hall and closed the door behind him. The door opened just as quickly as he walked down the steps, "Mr. Winchester. Mr. Winchester, wait!" Dean turned to Mayor Cain's assistant, rushing down the stairs after him. "Mr. Winchester, Mayor Cain wants to see you."

"Tell him His death bed is on me." Dean commented about his father, in which he went to see not even minutes before and left because he just couldn't bare to see his dad sleeping, waiting for Death to come and take him.

"Mayor Cain insists you start to prepare your father's ­­."

Dean wiped around, "You don't need to remind me." He snapped.

The assistant backed up, "Apologies." Dean turned and continued walking.

"Mr. Winchester!" He called again, "Please take the Mayor's word into consideration."

"I pass." Dean said as he continued walking with this pest of a tail following.

"Your father has asked for you countless times ­­."

"What a shame." He shot blankly.

The assistant stopped in his tracks. "Mr. Winchester." He called. He turned.

"Have you any idea how much your father has given to this town?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me." He said being cocky.

The assistant huffed, "You're father has built these very roads of this town, he has shacked up houses and buildings of all sorts, and he has given us money and hope to search for." Dean rolled his eyes.

"If you truly are his son, then you would have mercy and give that man a good memorial."

Dean stared for a moment and then stepped forward, "Do you know what that man did to me? The so called 'hero' that you look up to?" He growled, "I didn't have a father to look up when he was too busy making a town you couldn't fix!­­"

"Well, I'm sorry for your life Mr. Winchester. I am. But it's either deal with it and move on, or regret it for the rest of your life." He yelled and turned his back on Dean going back into the building. Dean had stared at that door for a long time before he took a leisure walk home, and sunk into the chair. It had been hours before Ellen had walked in and noticed, of course she noticed an eerie silence in the house but she didn't think it would be coming from Dean. That's where they had been now, where Dean was in Castiel's grasp and Castiel was in Dean's eyes.

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Castiel's wings had been shaking once he started crying, Dean could hear the air around them when they fell and rose.n"Don't be angry." He mumbled.

Dean leaned forward pressing his hand against Castiel's cheek, "I'm not angry."

He nodded, "You're angry at yourself."

"I'm not Cas, I'm not." He chimed pulling him in, "I'm not angry at myself. I'm angry at other things."

"You're angry."

Dean nodded, running his hands through Castiel's bed head hair. "I'm not angry at myself."

Castiel clasped his hands over Dean's on his cheek. He reached up and kissed Dean's forehead, resting his head on his shoulder he wrapped his arms around Dean. Dean gently did the same, holding Castiel. "Don't worry Cas. I'm not mad." He closed his eyes and exhaled, "I'm not mad."

"What about your ­­ d..dad?" He muffled into Dean's shoulder.

He nudged his head into Castiel's shoulder more, "Don't worry about him. I'll take care of it."

"Will you say good ­­ bye?" Dean paused, his eyes shot open and he stared out into the distance of the room. He gulped and pulled Castiel closer to him, he didn't say anything but he closed his eyes again ­­ and waited. For the moment his mind was ready to say good bye