C L O S E R || hwang hyunjin

broken

NARRATOR POV



Hyunjin was sitting on his bed while ruffling his hair. He lowered his head. "Ah, geez. What do I do?" He said out of frustration. With the burdened look on his face and his worry filling him. He quickly stood up and started pacing around his room. With the words of Annie's father playing around in his mind. "What do I do? What is really best for Annie?" He started to get more and more anxious. 
A memory came back to him. What his mother had gone through, just for the sake of his father. Upon that what had happened to his father.
"I don't care what happens to me, but if this love is really going to hurt Annie badly, what should I do?" He kept asking himself the same question. He didn't want to show anyone how baffled he was. How worried he was. But, he remembered the look on Annie's face when she faced him. When seeing her after her mother had passed away, seeing how much comfort he had brought her. Was she really better with or without him? "Everything is in slow motion, who knows how it may affect her.." 

The night had passed. It was the weekend so Hyunjin went to visit his mother at the hospital. As he walked into the room he saw his mother in a wheelchair, looking out the window. "Mom." He called out. Her head quickly turned back. "Hyunjin!" She smiled as she noticed who it was. He ran up to her and kneeled right beside her. "How are you feeling?"Hyunjin made a gentle smile. "Much better. The Doctor says I'm improving each day." Her voice had a slight roughness to it. "That's good." He had a weight lift off of his chest. 
"But," She started. "I will be permanently in this wheelchair. But, at least I could still be with you guys." 
"Ah," Hyunjin looked down. "I will be here to help you around, always." 
"You've always been so kind to me. Even when I didn't do anything to help you back then."
"It's okay, mom." Hyunjin stood up and took the back of the wheelchair. "Would you like to take a walk?" 
"Mhm." His mom nodded. Hyunjin took his mother out to walk around the hospital yard. The sun was shining brighter and it was warmer today than it usually was. He pushed her forward.
"So, how are your brothers doing?" 
"They're still with auntie, but I called her recently and they're okay."
"Ah, I can't wait to see them soon. They haven't been able to visit me much."
"I will visit you however much you like, mom." Hyunjin let out a light sigh. 
It was silent for a bit as they enjoyed listening to the bird. 
"My friend from the hospital here passed away."
When she said that, Hyunjin's mind immediately went to Annie. 
"She was fighting for a long time, she had wonderful children too. I wonder how they are." His mother went on. But at that point, something was rushing through Hyunjin's mind: "What if I am not really helping her like I think I am? What if she's really struggling and I cannot see it?" 
"What's on your mind, Hun? You've been awfully quiet." His mom looked back.
"Ah, yeah. Just a lot on my mind I guess.." He snapped out of his trance. 
"A lot on your mind? That usually means a girl."
"Uhh," Hyunjin didn't know what to say or how to react. After he walked his mom back to her room and departed he started to get a call.  He saw that it was Jeongin. "Hello?" 
"What are you doing right now?" Jeongin asked.
"Ah, just got done seeing my mother. Why?"
"I was just wondering if you would like to help me at work?" He let out a light laugh. "There are so many people here and I am alone.." Jeongin sounded nervous.
"Okay Okay, I will come." Hyunjin let out a sigh. 
He arrived at the cafe and there was a huge line of people. It was really loud in there. "Uh, why are there so many people here? Is it a holiday or something?" Hyunjin yelled.
But, then he realized the people were surrounding Jeongin. He cut through to the crowd and grabbed ahold of Jeongin's arm and dragged him away. 
"What is going on?" He whispered to him aggressively.
"Uh... well, I became famous and people found out where I work.." Jeongin said shyly while looking down.
"Famous? Since when?" Hyunjin was surprised.
"You make it sound like it's a surprise.." He pouted. "Well, you know my Youtube? Well, I made a viral video...and well." He nervously scratched his head. 
"T-that fast you got all those fans..ah, so what do you want me to do?" 
"Help me take these orders so I can go back to peace, please?" Jeongin put his hands together and started begging. 
"Ah, Ah. Okay." Hyunjin gave in with an annoyed face.
He put on a hat and went up to the counter. He started to take orders one by one. 
"Hey! where did Jeongin go?" She tried to peak behind him. 
"He had to go on break." By the tone in Hyunjin's voice, you could tell he was annoyed. But, he still did it for his friend. 


ANNIE POV


I suddenly woke up, vividly remembering what had happened last night. I ruffled my messy hair. I had a flash of Hyunjin carrying me to my room. "Ah, he really dealt with me when I was drunk? I hope I didn't say anything I could regret.." Then I remembered what he had said to me right before I fell asleep.
"Do not lose track of time tonight, Annie." I quickly looked at my phone to see it was nearly afternoon. "Aish, not this again. He told me not to lose track." I whined to myself. I quickly got ready so I could head to work. I didn't see my father around the house and I wasn't sure where he was. "Did he already go back?" I had a nervous feeling. "What if they fire me when I get there? What if I get yelled at by the director..?" 
"Ah, seriously how can I be this irresponsible?" I whined to myself as I paced down the street. But, then I started to have a pounding feeling. "What if I am not ready to go back to work? I still can't stop thinking about mom and I can't stop myself from feeling guilty..I don't want to get over it too quickly..won't that be sad for my mother?" 
I arrived at my work, I slowly crept in hoping people wouldn't notice me. I slowly made my way to my desk.
"Annie!" I heard Seungmin yell out beside me. Then everyone's eyes in the room pointed towards me. "Uh." I started to shake nervously.
"How are you? Really?" Seungmin looked over.
"Uh, I am okay." I made a slight laugh and looked down. But, I started to feel very subconscious. "Maybe I am not ready to return to work.." I felt like all their eyes were on me. So, I tried to hide my face from them. I quickly started to draw.
"The game is in production, isn't that exciting?" Seungmin also returned to his work.
"It is, I can't wait until it comes out.." I muttered.
"So I am not in trouble?" I stood in front of the director. 
"Of course not." Mr.Kim said. "I understand you had a lot going on. Just next time let me know, okay?" He looked up at me. I made a quick nod. 
"Will do." I bowed. "Thank you, sir." I walked out with a feeling of relief on my chest. But, as I walked around everyone looked at me. It was like everyone knew what happened to my mother, but I couldn't help but feel guilty about it. 
The hours spun by fast. I quickly looked up at the clock. "I have so much to get done, why is it going by now?" I quickly ran through the building, getting all my work done before time got ahead of me. But, as I was filing papers, I started to get quite dizzy. I leaned on a table beside me and held my head. "Maybe I am going too fast?" I felt my head spinning, I felt my heart thumping. But, I put it off. I regained my strength and started to walk ahead. I noticed someone across the large room. It was Changbin talking to a security guard. Then I noticed that he pointed right at me. 
Changbin looked back and ran right towards me. "Hey, what're you doing here?" I asked him.
"Ah, I came to visit you since I didn't know how you felt from last night, I started to get worried.." Changbin scratched his head. 
"I am okay." I coughed. "I don't feel any sickness, I wasn't that drunk so.. I am good."
"I mean, I didn't mean just that. I mean, how are you?"
"You came all this way to check on me? You could've just called me." I crossed my arms as I still felt the lightness in my head. I ignored it so he wouldn't notice.
"Ah, I mean. I was just passing by and had the thought.. I mean It's not like I am trying to win you over or anything." Changbin looked away with shrug.
"Just kidding, I really was just passing by."
"Ah-ah," I nodded. "You doing okay though?" 
"Yeah yeah, it's really no problem. Your feeling goes over mine." 
"Thank you.." I looked down in embarrassment. 
"Annie!" I heard Seungmin call, he was waving for me. 
"I have to get back to work." I quickly bowed and ran towards the elevator. I felt kind of awkward around him, but yet so thankful that he cares so much about me. "Since when did I become likable?" I muttered to myself as I shrugged.
"What do you mean? I have always found you likable." Seungmin made a quick smile. "Ah, I said that out loud?.." 
"haha." He made a tiny laugh. "But, make sure to stay safe, okay? I am really concerned for you and Hyunjin.." Seungmin's smile turned down as I could tell he was worried.
"I know.." I still didn't know what to do because I was still battling with my feelings. 
"Just do what's best. Not only for him but you too, okay?" Seungmin made a quick smile.
"Sorry for putting this burden on everyone..I just couldn't help but fall for him, y'know? He was there at the perfect time." I made a sigh.
"Yeah.." The elevator opened and we finished work. "But, I can't be selfish. I need to know what Hyunjin wants. What's best for him." 

As I was leaving work I noticed someone standing outside. It looked like they were waiting for someone. Then I saw his face. To see the face of my father.
"What are you doing here?" I got his attention. 
"Oh, I was waiting for you to get off so maybe we can go out and chat together?"
I took a big sigh and looked away. "I don't really have a lot of time. I have backup homework to do." I tried to walk past him but he grabbed ahold of my arm.
"Just let me explain okay?" He said in a harsh tone.
"What is there to explain?" I thrashed back. "You weren't here for mom and that's that. All you cared about was money, and you know what?" I took a breath because I felt my anger getting more and more stirred up. "All mom wanted was you by her side. But, you weren't. You were never there and all you cared about was yourself." I told him. He had a silent breath. I turned away and started to walk home quickly. I felt my chest getting heavier and heavier. I had already felt so weak, but my emotions being stirred up made me feel even worse. I saw my cold breath in the air. "I don't usually get mad..but this time it's different. Why do I feel this ticked off?" 
I tried to get a hold of my feelings but as I was trying to grip at them, I felt more and more lightheaded. I tripped and caught myself, holding onto my head. 
I sat on the ground feeling cold. I looked around to see if there was anyone there but, there was no one. Not even my father behind me. I felt alone, I felt cold, I felt weak. I wasn't sure what was going on but I could barely see clearly. I lowered my head as I sat there.

Moments later I heard. "Hey, hey miss are you okay?"I slowly opened my eyes to see a few people around me. I waved my hands. "Yeah, yeah." I could barely say anything. My eyes felt heavy. Then I saw someone running in the distance. 
"You have been here for hours, are you sure you're okay?" Someone else said. 
"Hours..?" I peaked up. I saw someone so vaguely push through the people. They grabbed ahold of me and lifted me up. I felt my body feel weightless as they carried me. Like I couldn't even walk. I struggled to open my eyes to see Hyunjin, with a stern face. I struggled to keep my head up.
"Hy-Hyunjin..what-" My head was blurry again. 
"Just rest, I will take you home," Hyunjin said with a stern face. I accepted his request and just laid in his arms. I felt my heart start to rush. Suddenly, I was home in my bed with Hyunjin sitting by my side. "What happened?" I started to feel more focused than before. I rubbed my eyes.
Hyunjin's eyes sparkled as he saw me wake up. "You were just sitting on the street for hours. People asked you questions but it seemed that you were unconscious..I came to save you." He held his hands together while pointing his head down. I could tell by his posture that he was worried. 
"Oh, I just felt dizzy all day and after seeing my dad it made me worse." I scratched my head. 
"It's my fault, so, I am sorry," Hyunjin said lightly. 
"It isn't your fault, I promise." I lightly rubbed the top of his head. He quickly looked up with a gentle look on his face. I couldn't help but smile over him. I glanced quickly at his hand, I had a drawing toward it. He lightly put his hand on mine. "I won't leave until you feel better, okay?" Hyunjin said in a light voice.
I noticed the clock and it was the middle of the night. "But, it's so late." I panicked. 
"It's okay, I am not tired."
"But, you probably had a long day." I looked down with a pout.
"Don't worry. I wouldn't get rest worrying about you anyway. I find more comfort with you." By Hyunjin's words and warming smile, I felt my heart rushing. I couldn't help but smile shyly. I felt so safe next to him. 
Suddenly the door opened and I saw the face of my father, which didn't look too pleased.
"What are you doing here this time of night?" 
"Uh.." Hyunjin looked back with a nervous tone. My father saw that our hands were together. He quickly came between us and glared down at Hyunjin. "I told you to not hang around her anymore, and especially at this time of night?!" 
My eyes widened by what my father had said. 
"You told him what?" My voice started to crack as I felt this deepness in my chest.
"I didn't want you to change, Annie. I didn't want you to change because of the danger you would be in."
"Father, no. I am in no danger at all." I started to feel my anger going back. I quickly grabbed ahold of Hyunjin's hand. "In fact, I feel safer around him than you, actually...more than anybody!" I yelled out. Hyunjin had noticed how frustrated I was getting.
He quickly stood up. "Maybe it's best that I leave." He made a quick bow. I wanted to get up and run after him, but I didn't have the strength. 
"I don't want you around that boy, he's not a good influence on you."
"Then what am I supposed to do? Never do anything? Never grow up and be me? Father something you have to understand is that people change. I am not going to be your little daughter forever. How about you just go back to your job? I was less frustrated when you were gone." I looked down, cause I could barely handle the look of my father. I couldn't forgive him, especially after trying to take the one thing that kept me safe. Jisung then quickly came in because he heard the noise. My dad had left the room.
"Annie, do you think that was necessary?" Jisung whispered to me. I tried to calm myself down by taking big breaths. "I never get angry, but when I do..I just can't hold it back." I looked down at my hands. Really thinking. "Maybe it's better for Hyunjin to not be surrounded by me. I am not in good shape or form for him. He deserves happiness and I clearly only give him anxiety and worry." I noticed my hands starting to shake. 
"Maybe you should go to sleep, Annie. I will wake you up tomorrow." Jisung made a quick smile but I could tell he seemed upset too. As the darkness filled the room, I couldn't help but get caught up in my feelings. 
"Why did I blow up that much..?" I started to feel guilt. Even though I was upset, I also didn't want to get angry. "Maybe I should apologize tomorrow." I sighed. Then I heard a knocking on my window, I saw a silhouette outside and I jumped back. Covering my face with my hands. "Stay away! trust me you don't want me." I closed my eyes tightly.
I heard a muffled voice. "Nah, I am pretty sure I want you." 
I opened one of my eyes to had noticed the smile through the dimmed window. I slowly opened it to see Hyunjin, with a gentle smile on his face. He leaned in the windowsill and propped his head with his arms. With his eyes focused on me. 
"Why did you come back?.." I looked down shyly.
"I told you I wouldn't leave you." Hyunjin made a cute laugh. 
"I am sorry for blowing up in front of you,"
"It's okay." He said quickly By his gentle face I could see the kindness in his heart. 
"You're way too kind to me." I played with my fingers, as I felt my heart start to pound. 
"I just show the way I feel, I can never be TOO kind to you." I noticed he was being more loveable than usual. "Why is he being this flirty with me? it's making my head spin." I yelled to myself as I felt my chest heavy.
"T-thank you." I got shy. "You're the one that deserves it though.." I made a smile like him. I felt the cold night breeze come in through the window. 
"I will stay with you until you fall asleep, so you should sleep, okay?" He insisted.
"Okay, Okay. I will sleep." I wrapped myself in my big blanket. "Thank you for staying with me," I said lightly with a smile.
"Mhm." I saw him peeking through the window. As he was here with me I felt warm and safe. I felt like time was stood still. I didn't want to depart from him, that's all that my heart wanted.

The next day, I found myself outside the store. Tapping my feet because of the cold. "I have nothing to do today.."  I looked down at my phone. 
"Maybe I should apologize to my father.." Then Jisung quickly came out of the store, with huge bags of groceries. 
"At least we can buy food." He walked with joy on his face. "Yeah.."
But, when I had woken up this morning father was already gone and back. I felt guilty thinking about it. "Maybe I am in the wrong this time.." 
"What is it you're thinking about?" Jisung quickly looked over at me.
"Ahah, nothing." I laughed nervously. 
"Is it about dad or Hyunjin?" 
"Uh..how did you know?" I scratched my head.
"I am your brother, of course, I know." Jisung laughed. 
As we got home we dropped all the bags on the counter. 
"Ah, should we have some people over? I can cook for us. We haven't actually gathered together for a home meal before." 
"That sounds good!" I nodded, with my head still foggy. 
"Can you let everyone know when I try to gather what I'm going to make?" He placed his hands on his waist, focusing on the packages around him.
"Sure sure." I noticed how late it was getting, "I felt like I just woke up."
"Ah, what are you going to do about that?" 
"I-I'm not sure." I quickly looked at my phone and created a group chat with all our friends in it. Though I felt like deep down I knew the answer, I knew what I had to do. Even if it went against my feelings, what I wanted. 
"Hey, you all want to come over to my house for dinner tonight? Jisung is making something fancy :D" I texted.

"Ooooooh, sounds good. I will be there." Changbin replied back quickly.
I smiled at the thought.
"Cool. I wonder what fancy means." Minho said.
"Felix and I will be there!" Macy sent.
"I can't today because of work but I will see you tomorrow, Annie! ^^" said Seungmin.
I stood around anxiously wondering why Hyunjin wasn't replying. "Is he upset or something? Maybe I am just overthinking and he's just busy...or." I bit my lip.
"Hey, it's going to be okay. What matters is that we are all together, right?" Jisung looked up as he was washing vegetables in the sink. 
"Yeah," I made a small nod, holding onto my phone. 
Then I saw that Hyunjin was calling me. I answered as quickly as I could. "Hello?"
"Wow, that was fast. Uh." I heard him take a breath. "I would love to come, but is your dad okay with it though?"
"My dad isn't here anymore..he went back. If my dad gave you a chance to open up to him I know he would love you! He's just a bit scared, that's all.."
"Did you end up telling him that?" 
"No." I scratched my head, I started to feel more guilty. 
"Do it in your own time, anyway. I will be there soon. Wait for me." Hyunjin said gently. 
I hung up the phone, and a smile immediately grew on my face.
"Let me guess, that was Hyunjin?" Jisung laughed. "Yeah." I scratched my head shyly. 
Jisung was cooking the food and steam was filling the air. 
"Maybe I should set the table outside?"
"It's a bit cold though."
"Not that bad, I think it could be more open for everyone then." I shrugged as I set up outside. I noticed people walking from the bus stop close by. Felix and Macy were hand in hand with each other. "What?!" I gasped. 
"You guys...are?!!!"
"Hahah..yeah." Macy scratched her head nervously.
"Yeah," Felix had a bright smile on his face. "She's mine now." He held her hand tightly.
"Nah, You're mine." Macy glared. 
"Nah." Felix shook his head with a light laugh. "We can sit out here," I gestured. They sat down at the table. Changbin shrugged with his hands in his pockets. "I was going to do something with my family tonight, but I never refused to hang out with you guys." 
"Wow uh.. that sounds kind," Minho said sarcastically as they sat down. I was sitting there casually waiting for Hyunjin as the sky started to get dark. Jisung came out while bringing bowls of food to the table. "Ah, this looks good." Minho's eyes sparkled as he saw the noodles and meat. As I heard the loud chatter around the table and pointed someone in the corner of my eyes. His long blonde hair was pulled back. I quickly stood up to greet him. Everyone just stared at us. 
"Ah, hello." Hyunjin's smile was so bright. "Let's eat." I smiled back. We all sat around the table and started to eat together. With them around me I felt better, I felt like all my worries were in the back of my mind. With them, I felt at home, that all I could do was smile.
"Thank you all for coming tonight," I said as I finished up. 
"Of course, I am always open to hanging with you guys. Do you guys also want to work on the Spring Festival? Ah, it's so close." Minho shrugged back. 
"Yeah, that sounds fun." I nodded quickly.
"I am going to be on the decorating team too," I told them. "Ah, with you there I know it would look beautiful." Changbin pointed.
"Right!! Did she tell you about the game she is helping design too?" Jisung yelled out.
"What! a game?! really?!" Felix gasped.
"Yeah, uh.." I scratched my head. " I wasn't supposed to say anything because the company hasn't announced it yet.. but yeah! I am so pumped about it." I let out a big smile because of the happiness I felt in me. 
I looked over to see Hyunjin smiling gently at me. All I could do was laugh. 
Hyunjin blinked slowly, while he was looking I felt my heart start to erupt like I was being told something. 
"ahhaha, this is good. How are you?" I whispered to Hyunjin, he quickly snapped out of his trance. "Yes yes." He nodded quickly while looking down shyly. I shrugged my arm back and looked up at the shimmering sky. Hyunjin gulped as looking at me again. 
"Do you want to go alone?" I said with a sigh as I stared at the sky.
"Oh, yeah. That's okay." He coughed and stood up. I followed behind him. "We will be back soon." I waved behind. As we walked and time was going by. 
"Our time is fused together, right?" I held my hands behind my back and walked happily.
"Yeah," He nodded. He was quiet and I felt like there was something on his mind. 
"Is there something you wanted to say to me..?" I stopped and turned toward him, on the street.
"Uhh." Hyunjin had a gentle look on his face.
"I-" He tried to say. He looked down then looked back up with a face that I couldn't even describe. 
He gulped. 

"I realized, Annie."

"Realized what?" I tried to lock eyes with him. He ruffled his long blonde hair. He looked straight at me. I saw tears start to shimmer in his eyes. I felt my heart start to beat louder and louder with every passing second.


"That I love you."



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