I pushed the cart shifting my body to the side trying to see over the pile of drinks, clothes and pillows. Normally I wouldn’t stock up so much as it makes me an obvious suspicious person but we were all in dire need provisions. Mary need pencils for the kids, john and Liam wanted Nerf guns for their birthdays, Jerry wanted tools to create something that is no way relevant to our survival, but he somehow managed to talk me into because it shut him up and well everyone needed something and they all expect me to get it. I groaned pushing a overfilled cart with one hand reaching for an empty cart when someone slid past taking it with ease.
“come on we’re running out of time” Derek said as he looked back with that cocky smile of his. Today he wore a flannel shirt unbuttoned with a stained white muscle t shirt underneath. He had on his best black jeans, which were ripped of course, that loosely fit him at the waist. I looked down to notice his converse, were ripping at the soles which he surprisingly hadn’t complained about.
We made our way to the bedding aisle while I compared our outfits to others. He simply seemed like a scruffy skater boy who got himself into trouble. I made a mental note to tell him to pick up some new clothes, I could just picture the security guard eyeing him suspiciously as he walked out. I stared at my clothes. A tight pair of jeans, with cute bejeweled flats that made an annoying click sound when I walked. I had on a coca cola shirt with a purple hoodie. My hair was a bit of a tangled mess and unlike most girls who were my age I wore no makeup. I looked around and saw a 17 year old girl who looked my age and saw she had on a flowery dress with sandals curled hair and of course of diamond necklace. I groaned at her perfect appearance and turned to Derek.
“ You know how diamonds are a girls best friend” I asked staring at his brown eyes that peeked under the shaggy blond hair.
“ Um no I don’t but I’ll play along” he teased
“ Well I hate them” I said pointedly staring at the girl as she bended over to pick out a new comforter.
“ Oh” he smirked, understanding why I brought this up “ then I’ll just have to get you some myself” He said this as he tugged my waist pulling towards him. Immediately The closeness of him made me incredibly uncomfortable and so as gently as I could I took his hands off me turning away mumbling, “ I’m gonna go get some clothes” I hurried off willing myself to keep going forward.
I made my way to the clothing aisle and started to pile clothes into my arms only pausing to make sure the sizes were right. I mentally checked off everything I had on the my list taking a slow walk to the purses. I didn’t want to go back to Derek yet, it would be too awkward. Whenever I push him away I can feel the tension between us. We’ve kissed a couple of times and I can see the hope in his eyes every time but I never feel anything. But I’m not surprised because I don’t feel anything for anybody, If Derek got shot this second I’d be in shock yes but after 15 minutes I’d pick myself up and leave to go back to the warehouse; If anyone got shot really. There is no one I care about on this planet and I don’t remember ever caring about anyone. I have no memories of my past life at all so when someone asks I give them a hard look and sa , “I find it easier to live in the present than to relish in the past” then I simply walk away.
After staring at the same purse for 10 minutes I walk to the day scarves and let myself wonder. Was I an only child? Did I look more like my Dad or mom? Were we rich, poor, or middle class? Does anyone know how I just woke up in an ally with no memory in a simple tank top and jeans? Did my family wonder about me crying cause I’m gone? “No! Stop.” I tell myself. “ every one in the warehouse is your family” but do I really believe that I venture. I know they care about me but the feeling isn’t mutual. They are all just people who help me to live. They think I care about them but I regrettably don’t I just don’t hold the power to love. Whether it’s a side effect of my 6 month amnesia state or just my own stupid twisted soul, either way these people are not my family. Because family means you at least care about them and I don’t.
YOU ARE READING
Forgetting to Remember
Action"Don't try to hit me" I whisper, the calm before the storm. Suddenly the built up anger inside is rushing through my veins and I can feel it radiating off of me, like heat from the sun. The windshield starts to shake and the man stares in silent fea...
