come join me in the livestream

when enough is enough

i get high eating crumbs
scarcely given
even mouthing them off the floor
grateful and impatiently waiting for more

but they're too small too few
carelessly dropped into the bottomless pit
of my starving heart

it's not enough
i'm shriveled from irregular feeding
malnourished from quick flash-bomb carbs
haunted eyes and straining ears
never certain when the next gift will be

it's not enough, never enough
and i'm tired of it being enough for me to forgive everything

i have to break my heart over and over again
to remind myself i can't keep living like this
can't keep loving like this

11-12-2020