Field of Poppies

January-November 1916

Dear Amelia,

I got the photograph of Annie and Max together. I can't believe how much they've both grown. I hope Max is being good to his sister. At least he's been around John's kids before.

Have you made any New Years' resolutions? Not that you need to change anything. I've always thought you were perfect. Much too good for me and much too good for Small Heath. I promise that once I come home, we'll get business going and start making real money. Then I'll buy you that house out in the countryside. Nice big lawn for Max and Annie to play. We'll have a stable full of horses. I think it'll be nice. I want to give you what you deserve. I want to make up for lost time.

Tell Max and Annie I love them very much and I hope to be home soon. I'm hoping that at least Annie doesn't remember me ever being gone. Maybe when I come back, she'll be young enough that she won't remember ever being apart from her dad. I'd hope for the same for Max but he's grown up so much since I've left. And what you've been saying about him asking after me. I'm afraid he'll never forget this. I just hope that I can make it up to him when I return. And to you.

I love you very much.

Yours,

Tommy

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Since Ada was old enough to look after the kids, Martha and Polly swapped turns staying over at Amelia's at night. With a young child and a newborn, they figured she needed some extra help. Especially since Amelia seemed to be stuck in deep sadness. It was clear she was doing everything she could to be the best mother possible for her son and daughter. But all of her energy and time went into them and her work in the betting shop. She hardly gave herself another thought, struggling to take care of herself most days. She never slept more than a few hours at a time, even if Polly or Martha was there to stay up with the baby if needed. She was growing thin because she had no interest in eating. Everything about her just seemed to dull. Her hair, her eyes, her skin. She looked lifeless.

What was more, Polly knew she was lying to Tommy. She snooped a bit and read an unfinished letter that Amelia was writing to her husband. It was full of pleasantries and lies about her well being. She wrote about how wonderful the children were and how much they were growing each day. She wrote about the business doing well. Wrote about Ada and Finn. Polly and Martha. Abigail and Wilbur. Then, she wrote one brief sentence about herself.

I'm doing well.

Neither Tommy nor Amelia knew that they were both having hauntingly similar dreams in the brief bouts of sleep they got. Each of them had vivid nightmares about losing the other in a haze of darkness. They would scream and yell for each other but there was no answer. They woke up in a sweat, almost in tears. It felt so real. Amelia swore she could smell Tommy's cigarettes. And he was certain he could smell her perfume.

Neither of them told a soul about the night terrors. They simply went on about their days, hoping that when night came, they wouldn't have another dream. But it was inevitable.

~~~~~~~~~~

After a few months of Amelia's depressive state, Max was starting to act out. It appeared he was picking up on his mother's sadness and as a young child, it was frightening. He would have outbursts of screaming and tears at a moment's notice. Any little thing could set him off. He often went off on Finn who had always been like an older brother to him.

One day, things took a turn for the worst. Amelia was in the betting shop with the rest of the girls while Ada watched the children. She began to hear shouting and crying.