Field of Poppies

December 1916-April 1917

            When the holidays began to creep up on them again, Amelia found herself in a state of denial. She refused to take part in any celebration that Polly put together before Christmas. She was in such a state, refusing to believe that she would be celebrating another Christmas without Tommy. Refusing to believe that her daughter was already turning one. One-year-old and had never met her father.

The world was far too cruel. She was finding it hard to take part in the mundane aspects of life. Cleaning the kitchen after dinner, tucking Max and Annie into bed, dusting the house, keeping up with the race odds. All the actions she found comforting before now seemed meaningless. How was it that she was expected to go about her normal life when everything was turned upside down? That her husband was fighting for his life for a government that never gave two shits about them.

Polly set up a birthday party for Annie but Amelia was hesitant.

"I'll bring Max and Annie over but I don't think I can stay, Pol." She mumbled over the phone. The two had a bit of a strained relationship when Amelia discovered what Polly had told Tommy. Polly encouraged Amelia to take control of her own life, but Amelia was exhausted. It felt useless trying to pretend like everything was okay by going about her usual tasks in life.

"It's a family occasion, Amelia, you ought to be there," Polly replied. "Please, come."

"I just can't pretend anymore. I can't sit there acting like everything's okay and perfect."

"No one is asking you to pretend everything is perfect." Polly sounded annoyed. Maybe it wasn't fair to be upset with her, but she felt they were all in the same boat. . "We're just trying to make the best of a bad situation. It's your daughter's first birthday, it's something to celebrate."

"But he won't be there."

"Tommy won't always be there, even when he returns from France. The best we can do now is just try to adapt."

"Mummy?" Max tugged at Amelia's skirt.

"I'm on the phone with Auntie Pol, love." She tried to shoo him off but he was persistent.

"But mummy, Annie's crying."

"Okay, Pol, I need to go. I'll see you at the shop tomorrow."

"Wait, just please consider coming to the party." Polly stopped her before she hung up.

"I'll think about it." Amelia agreed before hanging up the receiver so she could go fetch Annie in her bassinette.

Max followed her into the sitting room where Annie was having a fuss. He climbed up into the armchair that Tommy usually sat in. "Do you think she misses daddy?"

Amelia picked Annie up and patted her back gently to calm her. "She's never met daddy." She replied quietly. What else could she say? Any other answer would be a lie and Max would know.

"Yeah, but maybe she knows we miss him." The little boy mused with a small shrug.

"Maybe she does," Amelia replied as she rocked Annie back and forth. "Maybe she does."

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Dear Amelia,

I hope you're feeling better. After Polly's letter, I became very worried about you. If there's anything I can do, please let me know. I would hate to continue writing knowing that you're having so much grief.