Nightly Creep

[2] Drunken Heart

Staring longingly at the sky, it has turned dark so soon. The stern moon only bathing me in low light but was still tolerable enough to see.

The engine has been turned off a little after I had gotten ahold of the luring liquid making it seem darker even more without the headlight.

Still on my seat, I had not moved.

The moon and the deepening night were there as my only allies.

My solace.

A strangled sound soon broke the deafening silence. I must have misheard wrongly except I was the only one in here. It surely had come from me.

A sob has finally escaped.

No one was around and the need to finally let it all out was strong and palpable. Clearly, my emotions were getting the best of me.

Looking back at the darkened sky, my contained anger quickly building up trying to burst out. I was so upset that I felt the need to confront him. To blame him. So I did, furiously.

Biting my trembling lips, I whimpered.

Why were you letting them do this to me?

The tears slipping from the corner of my eyes going straight down to my chin in race.

They say you're real, but are you really?

Gazing up at the grouped stars peppering the sky, the brightest one blinked shyly at me.

Then why does it h-hurts so bad.. why...

I palmed my aching chest as it was painfully closing up on me making it hard to breathe. Hot tears were uncontrollably pouring down my face while several hairs were tangled and mixed in with the already dried tears.

Uncaring, I let them.

I know you're in there. Talk to me!

The birds and crickets responded by making happy chirping noises unaware of the distressed person right beneath them.

I felt neglected.

Too mad, my fingers inched their way to my roots pulling and gripping on them repeatedly.

Do you even hear me calling?!

I wanted to shout at him. My heart thumping so fast by how quick I'm getting worked up. My breathing has gotten heavier too.

Why give me someone who's.. who's..

"Who doesn't even have the balls to sort his sexuality head on." I choked out helplessly.

"Why use me?" I complained to him. "Why mislead me?"

At this point, it felt like I've reached my breaking point as I leaned my pulsing head to the headrest behind me.

I was hyperventilating.

Holding my seat for support, I calmed myself down. I can't afford another slip up. No, a mishap was definitely the least of the things I'd want right now.

Breathe, Mia.

Inhaling a large intake of air, there's no stopping the tears.

Whispering tiredly, I closed my eyes. "Why me?"

I was merely a cover up and I guess I never really got to grasp the memo.

Was it that easy for him, though? To throw away everything we've worked for. Everything we've built together.. us...